Video Conference Comic Strips - Page 40

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

477 Results for Video Conference

View 391 - 400 results for video conference comic strips. Discover the best "Video Conference" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 1999's comic on:


Tags #talent, #professionalism, #commence failing, #vision statement, #big stubborn guy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a conference table between a women and the big stubborn guy. dilbert says, "You've all been chosen for this team because of y our talent and professionalism." Dilbert says, "Except for Dan, who is a big stubborn guy who will prevent our success." Dilbert says, "Shall we commence failing?" Dan says, "I can't do work without a vision statement."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 1999's comic on:


Tags #save money, #cut used papaer, #little squares, #note pads, #less than hour, #print blank pages

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss sits at a conference table with a pad of paper in front of him. The boss says, "We can save money by cutting used paper into little squares to use as note pads." The boss says, "I made these in less than one hour." The boss says, "Not counting the time it took me to print the blank pages."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 1999's comic on:


Tags #merging, #porcess, #engineers, #merger, #tech writers

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Tina and Wally sit in conference. The Boss says, "We'll be destroying another healthy company via a process we call merging." The Boss says, "No engineers will be down-sized after merger." The Boss says to Tina, "And tech writers..." Tina says, "Yes?!" The Boss says, "Should write that down."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 1998's comic on:


Tags #bonus, #discontinue, #profcits, #recorded message, #redirect, #serve customers better, #tech support, #evil

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted sits at the conference table next to Dilbert. He says, "We're discontinuing technical support of all our products." Ted continues, "A recorded message will explain it to the called this way..." Ted says, "'In order to serve our customers better, we've discontinued technical support.'" Dilbert looks at Ted and asks, "How does that serve customers better?" Ted answers, "We'll redirect those resources to other areas." Dilbert asks, "What other areas?" Ted replies, "Profits." Ted continues, "That makes your bonus larger. Any other questions?" Dilbert says, "Apparently I'm engulfed in evil." Ted says, "That's the spirit."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2000's comic on:


Tags #disablity, #jiggle the camera, #test, #walls claim, #sneak, #camera, #caught, #spy, #window, #unsuspecting

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok goes to Dilbert's house to spy on him. While video taping Dilbert's actions, Asok thinks to himself, "Wally's claim of disability will be put to the test." Now from a different view in Dilbert's yard (next to the fence), Asok thinks to himself, "Here we go...oh, yeah...come to Asok...go, baby, go!" Back at the office, Catbert asks Asok "Does he ever move?" Asok replies innocently, "It looks that way when I jiggle the camera."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2000's comic on:


Tags #customer type, #feeble minded people, #reorganize, #second guess, #dogbert consults

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is sitting at a conference table beside the boss, across from Dilbert and Wally. Dogbert says, "You need to reorganize by customer type." Gesturing toward the boss, Dogbert continues, "One division would focus on selling to feeble-minded people." The boss says, "Are you gesturing at me because I would work in that division?" Dogbert says, "What's your second guess?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 1998's comic on:


Tags #must delight customoers, #stop price gauging, #stop selling defective products, #talking about customers, #delighting customers, #empathy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at the head of the conference table. He says, "It's not enough to 'serve' our customers..." The Boss continues, "We must DELIGHT them!" Alice asks, "You mean we have to stop price-gouging?" The Boss replies, "No, I think we can still do that." Wally raises his hand and says, "Ooh! Ooh!I know!" Wally continues, "We could stop selling products with known defects." The Boss shouts, "I'm talking about products, not customers!!" Wally turns to Dilbert and Alice and asks, "Do you feel like delighting customers?" Dilbert replies, "I barely have the empathy to pity them."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2001's comic on:


Tags #save millions, #project, #twenty million, #year to complete, #topper, #one better, #do better

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, The Boss and Topper are sitting at a conference table. Dilbert says, "My project will save the company a million dollars." Topper says, "Mine saves twenty million." Dilbert says, "My project will take a year to complete." The Boss looks at Topper as Topper says, "Mine takes a week." Dilbert says, "Topper, I have half a mind..." The Boss looks dazed as Topper twitches and says, "I have one percent of a mind."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 2001's comic on:


Tags #coworkers naked, #no more donuts, #boredom

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice is sitting at a conference table and thinking, "Maybe I can stave off the boredom by imagining my co-workers naked." Turning to Wally, Alice screams, "Aaagh! No-o-o-0!!!" Alice says to Wally, "No more donuts for you." Wally says, "Hey, don't even kid about that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2001's comic on:


Tags #threw computer, #off roof, #killed customer, #replace, #look a like, #worker, #clones, #coverup

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally and Alice are sitting at a conference table. The Boss says "Someone threw a computer off the roof and killed our biggest customer." Alice appears shocked. The Boss continues, "We plan to replace him with a lookalike who will continue buying from us." The Boss holds up a picture of Wally. Wally says, "Hey, that's Willy from the club of people who look exactly like me."