Asok Comic Strips - Page 41
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Character
964 Results for Asok
View 401 - 410 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday May 15,
2008
Tags assigned same project, discovered, one month agao, 50% chance
Transcript
Dilbert: We just discovered that you assigned the same project to both of us a month ago. The Boss: Sometimes I do that when I think neither of you has more than a 50% chance of doing something right. Asok: Hey, I just discovered something. The Boss: Or 33.3%"
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday June 09,
2008
Tags meeting with boss, vendors, customers, please kill me
Transcript
The Boss says, "Asok, you never mentioned any issues this quarter, so I assume you didn't do any work." A man says, "Ooooh, lordy lord! Our vendors are incompetent and our customers are suing us!!!" The Boss says, "Why can't you be more like that guy?" A man says, "Someone please kill me!"
Saturday September 06,
2008
Tags evil director, human resources, mandatory stretch, employee welness, good and flexible, new place, tuck your head, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "We're instituting a mandatory stretch period every day." Asok says, "This is surprising because human resources usually doesn't care about employee wellness." Catbert says, "Phase one is just to get you good and flexible. Phase two involves a new place to tuck your head."
Wednesday September 10,
2008
Tags bought entire era system, software, money, boat sinkiing, anchor to head, staff, out of money, engineering
Transcript
The Boss says, "We inadvertently bought an entire ERP system without any software. Now we're out of money." Asok says, "Why do I suddenly feel like my boat is sinking and someone nailed an anchor to my head?" The Boss says, "If only someone on my staff could write the software in his spare time..." Asok says, "Glub glub glub"
Thursday September 11,
2008
Tags impossible task, forbidden powers, third arm, lost intellectual curiosity
Transcript
Asok thinks, "My task is impossible unless I use my forbidden powers." Asok thinks, "Would anyone notice if I had a third arm for a few hours?" Wally says, "I lost my intellectual curiosity just in time."
Friday September 12,
2008
Tags worked around clock, ten programmers, establish new baseline, tragic death march, stretch golas, stupid
Transcript
Asok says, "I worked around the clock and finished a project that would normally require ten programmers." Asok says, "Um... did I just establish a new baseline expectation that will turn my job into a tragic death march?" The Boss says, "It's time to set some stretch goals." Asok says, "STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!"
Thursday December 04,
2008
Tags boss, idea, low staus, not enjoy it, power, speaking truth to power, speaks back
Transcript
Asok: I have a great idea. Would you like to hear it? The boss: Well, considering your low status in the company and how busy I am I would not enjoy it one bit. Asok: I like speaking truth to power, but I don't like when it speaks back.
Friday February 19,
2010
Tags meeting, soul, lost, google search, ritual sacrifice, no pupils, business
Transcript
Asok Lost His Soul Asok says, "We can improve our Google search ranking with key words, inbound links and?" Asok says, "?Ritual sacrifice of a?" Asok says, "I think it's down to you or me." Coworker says, "What are you implying?"
Thursday April 01,
2010
Tags feedback, website design, computer, eyes wide, psychopath, photo wall, toe fungus, despair, yell, mouth open, scared, pain, satan, licking, brain, tone down, hair stand up, technology
Transcript
Tina says, "I need your honest feedback on our new website design." Asok says, "The layout looks like a psychopath's photo wall. The colors remind me of toe fungus and despair." Tina says, "I'll say, 'needs work.'" Asok says, "It feels like Satan is licking my brain!"
Friday April 09,
2010
Tags powerpoint proboscis, medical condition, nose grows, long nose, lie, pinocchio, close eyes, grit teeth, nose through face, pain, sting, clench fists
Transcript
Asok says, "It's a medical conditions called sympathetic Powerpoint proboscis. My nose grows when other people lie." Man says, "I'm very concerned and interested in your condition, and not just because I'm trying to sell you something." Asok says, "Please stop." Asok says, "It might sting when I pull it out."

