Managers Comic Strips - Page 41

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596 Results for Managers

View 401 - 410 results for managers comic strips. Discover the best "Managers " comics from Dilbert.com.

Clear Email From Boss

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Clear Email From Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, servers, request, email, reply, project, update, fight, business

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boss: why didn't you upgrade the servers like i asked? dilbert: you never asked me to do that. boss: yes, i did. i told you in an email. dilbert: no, you did not. boss: i know i saw it because you replied. dilbert: i replied to a different email. boss: okay, let me find the email and show you how wrong you are. see. it clearly says, "give me a project update by thursday." dilbert: which is...an entirely different topic. boss: why are you fighting me on this?

Common Sense

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Common Sense  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, common sense, request, specifications, assumption, sarcasm

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boss: this isn't what i wanted. dilbert: it is, unless you gave me the wrong specs. boss: i assume you would use your common sense to know what i wanted. dilbert: did you common sense help you make that assumption?

Just Like Marketing

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Just Like Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, marketing, project, managers, stupidity, transfer, extinguished, divinity

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boss: how's your project going? dilbert: it was doing fine until a thick wave of stupidity swept over it and extinguished my spark of divinity. i don't know what will become of me. boss: i'll transfer you to marketing. they're all like that.

Old Strategy

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Old Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, meeting, business, strategy, products, sell, fair, price, new

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boss in meeting: our new strategy is to make great products and sell them at a fair price. dilbert: what was our old strategy? boss: i'd rather not say.

Smarter Than An Engineer

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Smarter Than An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, health, allergy, brain, fog, i.q., smart, engineer

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dilbert: i took allergy meds last night, and now i have brain fog. my i.q. is about 50% of normal capacity. boss: whoo-hoo! i'm smarter than an engineer! dilbert: not quite. i'm only down by 50%.

Violating Rules

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Violating Rules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, rules, business, audit, employees, company

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boss: our internal audit found that you violated over four hundred company rules in the past year. dilbert: i'm also the only employee who accomplished anything last year. now connect the dots. boss: so you're saying we need more rules.

Master Engineer

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Master Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, Promotion, master, senior, engineer, more, pay, platinum, optimism

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boss: i'm promoting you to the position of "master engineer." dilbert: i'm already senior engineer. boss: now you're a master engineer. with all the rights and responsibilities that come with it. dilbert: such as...? boss: well, for example, you can do more kinds of work. dilbert: for more pay? boss: no. no. no! you're thinking of "platinum level" engineers. you're not on of those. dilbert: that comes next?! boss: optimism is not an attractive quality.

Looks Like A Duck

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Looks Like A Duck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, sayings, duck, update

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ceo: if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's... dilbert: a deep fake? ceo: i was going to say duck. dilbert: you might want to update your folksy sayings every century or two.

Alice Would Complain

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Alice Would Complain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complain, managers & supervisors, assignment, business, technology, problem, solve

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boss: i was going to give this assignment to alice, but i know she would complain about it. dilbert reading paper: i don't want it either. boss: do you plan to complain about it later? dilbert: not to your face. boss: problem solved.

Bring Me Solutions

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Bring Me Solutions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, solutions, problems, worthless, sarcasm, example

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boss: i want you to bring me solutions, not problems! dilbert: that's a funny way to call yourself worthless. boss: i do plenty around here! boss: but in the interest of time, i will not list any examples.