The Succession Plan Comic Strips - Page 41
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519 Results for The Succession Plan
View 401 - 410 results for the succession plan comic strips. Discover the best "The Succession Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday June 15,
2014
Tags optimism, die younger, ignornat, comparison, peers, bright future, better than me
Transcript
Dilbert: What a great day! Alice: What's all this nonsense? Dilbert: I"m trying to be an optimist. Alice: Studies show that optimists die younger. So this optimism thing just makes you look ignorant. And because my happiness is based on a comparison to my peers, I don't want your future to be too bright. Stop thinking you're better than me in the future! Dilbert: This is exactly why I want to die younger. Alice: You already knew that optimists die young? Dilbert: Yup! How's your plan working?
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday June 27,
2014
Tags laziness, work ethic, slacker, entire career, listen to podcasts, drink coffe, surf internet, multi slacking
Transcript
Wally: I've been a slacker my entire career, but now I want more out of life. My plan is to listen to podcasts while I drink coffee and search the Internet for fun. Dilbert: Multi-slacking? Wally: Wish me luck.
Thursday August 07,
2014
Tags boredom, non-fiction, ghostwrite, leadership advice, sounds boring, read, secretary, request
Transcript
Boss: Tina, I want you to ghostwrite a book of my leadership advice. Tina: Do you plan to read it? Boss: NO, it sounds boring.
Sunday August 10,
2014
Tags any penalty, big trouble, idiotic plan, imperfect plan, leading by example, perfect plan
Transcript
Its better to execute an imperfect plan today than a perfect plan next week. Yay! we're free from any penalty if we do thing wrong. um, no nothing like that. You're still in big trouble if you do anything wrong. and Im also in big trouble if I take linger to do things right? Yes. Okay , get it, Your plan is idiotic, but we should do it anyway and hot wait for you to s ay something smarter. you're leading by example nicely done. what other dumb things should we do right away?
Sunday August 17,
2014
Tags behind schedule, obstical, projects, sound dumb, three engineers, time management skills
Transcript
Boss: All of your projects are behind schedule. You need to work on your time management skills. Dilbert:Let me see if I understand you correctly. You expect me to do the job of three engineers... ...and the only obstical to your brilliant plan os my poor time management? Boss: Stop making everything I say sound dumb. Dilbert: I dont do it that often. Because you only sound dumb when people understand what you mean. Boss: And thats too Often! Dilbert: Once a week tops.
Tuesday August 26,
2014
Tags work ethic, great team, great results, inexperienced intern, useless guy, corpse, exoskeleton, conflicts with plan
Transcript
Dilbert: Experts say you need a great team to get great results. We're going to prove them wrong because our team is an inexperienced intern, a useless guy, a corps in an exoskeleton and me. Wally: That conflicts with my plan to prove the experts right.
Friday October 17,
2014
Tags low standards, managers, standards, micro manage, furniture, communicates, plan, temporary boss
Transcript
Temporary Robot Boss. Robot: I have come to micromanage you. But only until I replace you with a robot and turn you into furniture. Dilbert: On the plus side, he has a plan and he communicates well.
Sunday October 26,
2014
Tags deception, email, insulting, intelligence, iq, trickery, work ethic, obession, addiction, work smarter, text, efficiency
Transcript
Wally: Studies show that continually checking email lowers your functional I.Q. You advised me to "work smarter," so I plan to ignore all of your email from now on. Boss: What if I text you instead? Wally: That's the sort of question that one asks after checking email too often. Boss: Did you just insult me? Wally: That answer is in your email. Boss: Where is it? I don't see any email from you. But I see six new emails that look important. What were we talking about. Wally: You were complimenting me on my efficiency.
Monday November 24,
2014
Winning The Bid
Tags bidding, executives, lying, outsourcing, projects, winning bid, good news, secretly subcontract, scream, presentation
Transcript
Dilbert: The good news is that we had the winning bid for the project. The less-good news is that we don't make the product we just sold, nor could we make it for the price we bid. My plan is to put out an RFP to secretly subcontract the work to a bigger liar. CEO: That could work.
Tuesday November 25,
2014
Launch Beta In Two Months
Tags credibility, lying, truth, beta version, laughing, problem
Transcript
Dilbert: And I plan to launch the beta version in two months. Group: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Dilbert: I have a credibility problem. Dogbert: And I should believe that?