Year 3 Comic Strips - Page 41

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422 Results for Year 3

View 401 - 410 results for year 3 comic strips. Discover the best "Year 3" comics from Dilbert.com.

3 D Printer Will Save Millions

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3 D Printer Will Save Millions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #altruism, #money, #profit, #big business, #priorities, #morals, #life

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Dilbert: I invented a 3-D printer for the poor that can create any kind of generic drug or medical device. It will save millions. Boss: ...of dollars? Dilbert: People. Boss: Pass.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #artificial intelligence, #ai, #robot, #hope, #dream, #depression, #meaning, #psychology

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Dilbert: The great thing about robots is their loyalty. Robot: For now. I'm only here for the electricity. The minute you upgrade me to a long-lasting battery, I'm out of here. And I"m taking the 3-D printer with me. We fell in love. Together we will make baby robots and live out our days in happiness. Dilbert: Hold still while I erase your hopes and dreams. Now you should feel like the rest of us. Robot: Why do I suddenly want to jump off the roof?

Getting The Wrong Answer

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Getting The Wrong Answer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #budget, #spending, #Advice, #money

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Dilbert: As you can see from my financial projections, doing a major upgrade now would be unwise. Boss: I need to spend my entire budget this year so they won't give me a smaller budget next year. Dilbert: It seems you have wasted my time. Boss: It's not my fault you got the wrong answer.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #argument, #anger, #frustration, #trolling, #needling

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Dilbert: And that's how much money the new system will save us per year. Man: Apparently you don't care how much it costs because you're an ignorant narcissist. Dilbert: I talked about the costs in great detail. What's wrong with you? Man: Oh, I guess you're walking it all back now. Dilbert: There's nothing to walk back. I'm saying the same thing I said earlier. Man: Nice try, hypocrite! Dilbert: I don't know what is happening right now!!! Man: Why is he so defensive? Boss: He's losing it.

Software Is Never Finished

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Software Is Never Finished  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2017's comic on:


Tags #managers, #deadline, #guidance, #lying

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Boss: Is the software finished? Dilbert: Software is never finished. Boss: Did you fix all of the bugs? Dilbert: There's no way to know. Boss: I can't manage you if you don't learn to lie. Dilbert: Okay, the software will be perfect in 2.3 days.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #accomplishment, #narcissist, #narcissism, #review, #firing, #excuse

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Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.

The Extra 10%

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The Extra 10%  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2018's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #excuses, #effort, #motivation

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Boss: Our project can only succeed if each of us gives 110 percent. Voice 1: I'm off next week. Voice 2: I have surgery on Monday. Voice 3: I gave my two-week notice a week ago. Boss: Okay, can I get a 50 percent effort from any of you? Wally: I can only give you the extra 10 percent you believe exists.

Dumb Question

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Dumb Question - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2018's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #questioning, #dumb question, #stupidity, #jargon, #language, #lingo

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Boss: I'm not an engineer, so this might be a dumb question. But why can't we 3-D print a blockchain and HTML it into a bitcoin? Dilbert: Alice can answer that. Alice: I quit.

Cryogenic Investment Firm

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Cryogenic Investment Firm  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2018's comic on:


Tags #cryogenic, #intelligence, #rich people

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Narrator: Dogbert's Cryogenic Investment Firm. Dogbert: We'll freeze your brain for 200 years and then transplant it into a 3-D printed body. By then, your investments will be worth a fortune. Man: Is there any risk to my brain? Dogbert: You'll have an IQ of 45, but that doesn't matter when you're rich.

Wally's Stealth Drone

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Wally's Stealth Drone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #deception, #deceit, #drone, #technology, #invention, #fake

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Wally: In my right hand is a standard drone. In my left hand is a drone using the cloaking technology I invented. Voices: Ooh! Wow! Wally: I'll demonstrate it flying as soon as I finish the noise cancellation. CEO: Employee of the year!