Ceo Comic Strips - Page 41

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

627 Results for Ceo

View 401 - 410 results for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags statue of liberty, destroy, pr, responsibility, clean up, new york harbor, light show, weapon demo, consultant, cuba, air force, sink, yell, angry, private jet, head, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the public relations consultant Dogbert says, "So you accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty?" Dogbert says, "Her head is floating toward Cuba, and the president will probably order the air force to sink it." CEO says, "I should watch that from my private jet." Dogbert says, "FOCUS!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags statue of liberty, destroy, pr, responsibility, clean up, new york harbor, light show, weapon demo, podium, speech, fish food

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO says, "The media is on our back because we accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty. We need your P.R. advice." Dogbert says, "Did you take full responsibility and promise to clean up the harbor?" CEO says, "Ooh." Earlier that day CEO says, "Many of you don't know that the Statue of Liberty was very old... and made entirely of fish food."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags death ray, invention, brain scan, popcorn, microwave, worry, eyebrows, north korea

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO CEO says, "We're getting a lot of interest in your death ray invention." Dilbert says, "It's not a death ray. It's a portable brain scanner with a popcorn microwave option?" Dilbert says, "Uh-oh. That's a death ray." CEO says, "We have an RFQ from North Korea."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags report, oil rigs, explode, medicine, bacteria, pharmaceuticals, government, share holder, success, lie

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I'm happy to report that none of our oil rigs exploded." The Boss says, "Our children's pharmaceuticals are not tainted with bacteria, and the government is not investigating our financial practices." The Boss says, "All we're doing is quietly losing share-holder value." CEO says, "I knew it would feel like success if we kept at it!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags presentation, 14%, projector screen, label, ceo, dry run

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I based my estimate on the reliable input of people who just wanted me to leave them alone." Dilbert says, "I decided against labeling it because I'll probably need some deniability later." Dilbert says, "Are we done with the dry run, or do you want me to use up all of my energy before our CEO gets here?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags leg, rope, attached, crony, ceo, job, new boss, qualified, monkey, hammer, hold, suspicious, business, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO says, "This rope is attached to a crony from my last CEO job." CEO says, "Give it a good yank and reel him in. He's your new boss." The Boss says, "Is he qualified for the job?" CEO says, "Like a monkey with a hammer!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, weekly report, feng shui, workspace, ceo, consultant, record, microphone, nervous, disbelief, excuse, superstition, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I couldn't work this week because my workspace has bad Feng Shui." Wally says, "I know Feng Shui is a real thing because our CEO hired a Feng Shui consultant to design his office." Wally says, "Do you agree, or are you saying that our CEO is a superstitious simpleton?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, letter, ceo, reading, good fortune, share, winery, wine, angry, helicopters, human chess board, frighten, dwarves, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Our CEO wants to share his good fortune with all employees." The Boss says, "He invites all of you to visit his winery and buy his non-award-winning wine at nearly retail prices." The Boss says, "He asks that you not park your helicopters near his human chess board because it frightens the dwarves."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo, incompetent, dogbert investment bank, shareholder, bribe, merger, unwise, commission, best seller, read, jail

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "You're an incompetent CEO, but the Dogbert Investment Bank can help you pretend to unlock shareholder value." Dogbert says, "I'll arrange an unwise merger so you can cash out while I collect an obscene commission." Dogbert says, "It's like a bribe, but instead of going to jail, a stranger will write a bestselling book with your name on it." CEO says, "Can I read it?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, sitting, frustrated, value, useful, ceo, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, ?Our CEO asked each manager to describe his group's function on one slide.? The Boss says, ?I don't see how I can fit all of our various functions on one powerpoint slide.? Dilbert says, ?You could say, 'we spend all of our time trying to convince others that we have value.'? The Boss says, ?That's not all we do.? Alice says, ?Sometimes we also argue about what we do.? The Boss says, ?That's just what we're doing right now. Tomorrow we'll be doing something totally useful.? Dilbert says, ?Maybe you could add a footnote to the slide that says, 'we dream of someday being productive.'? Dilbert says, ?Or you could exaggerate our accomplishments to create a misleading sense of our potential.? The Boss says, ?Yes!? The Boss says, ?What have we accomplished lately?? Wally says, ?We got paid for planning to lie to our CEO.?