Evil Human Resources Comic Strips - Page 41

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

558 Results for Evil Human Resources

View 401 - 410 results for evil human resources comic strips. Discover the best "Evil Human Resources" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #Catbert, #sick days, #unusual reasons, #imagined to be fly, #hair, #crazy reasons, #made up reason, #fake excuses

View Transcript

Transcript

CAption: "CAtbert: Evil H.R. Director" CAtbert says, "Wally, you've taken sick days for unusual reasons." Catbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "For example, one day you got sick because you "...accidently imagined what ir would be like if you were a fly." Catbert says, "And today it's your hair?" Wally says, "I lathered and rinsed but I don't remember repeating."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #reduce airline expense, #weed out dumb ones, #sprint across runway, #cling to plane, #takeoff

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert types, "To reduce airline travel expenses..." Dilbert reads, "Sprint across the runway and cling to plane during takeoff." Catbert thinks, "That will weed out the dumb ones."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #promote, #from within, #yanking your chain, #hiring from outside, #you're so smart

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption:"Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert sits at a desk across from Asok. Catbert says, "We like to promote from within the company Asok." Catbert says, "But what we like even more is yanking your chain and the hiring from outside!" Catbert say, "Explain why you work here if you're so smart." Asok says, "I'm timid."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cat bert, #evil, #eliminate traces, #individuality, #computer wallpaper, #helium

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert types, "In order to eliminate all traces of individuality..." Dilbert reads, "All computer wallpaper must be the same." Dilbert thinks, "What next?" Catbert thinks, "In theory, with helium, the employees would all sound alike."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil, #better job, #agreement, #industry, #cripes, #dance on head

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert leans over the cubicle wall of a bearded man. Catbert says, "So you think you're leaving for a better job?" The man says, "Yes." Catbert says, "Your agreement with us bans you from working in this industry if you quit. Ha!" Catbert dances on the man's head. Catbert says, "Holy cripes! It DOES say you can dance on my head." Catbert says, "Hold still."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #shooting credenza, #tina was bad, #card board, #special hat, #suspended, #sentence

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Catbert"evil hr Director" Tina sits in catbert's office. Catbert says, "Tina, you are accused of shooting the CIO's credenza five times." Catbert scribbles with a pencil on a piece of paper and says, "I'm writing "Tina was bad" on this cardboard. I order you to attach it to a special hat for two weeks." Tina wears a hat with a stick that hangs over her head. The sign hangs off the stick. Dilbert says, "How did it go?" Tina says, "I got a suspended sentence."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #feng shui consultant, #one in your vent, #rubber bands, #spirits, #trousers, #evil soirits, #koi pond, #feel any luckier

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "The Feng Shui Consultant" Dogbert stands on the boss' desk and says, "This office is swarming with evil spirits" The Boss says, "It is?" Dogbert says, "There's one in your vent! Ooh - he ducked back in before you saw him." Dogbert says, "Put Rubber bands around your pant legs to keep the spirits out of your trousers." Dogbert says, "I figure the evil spirits will mount - a rear assault through that window." Dogbert screams. Dogbert's ears fly up. Dogbert says, "It's gone now." The boss says, "What did you see?!" Dogbert says, "It's gone now." The boss hides under his desk. Dogbert wags his tail and says, "Your only hope is to turn your secretary's cubicle intoa koi pond." Dilbert stnad by Carol's cubicle which is now filled with water and a leaping fish. Carol sits in the water wearing a scuba mask. Dilbert says, "Do you feel any luckier?" Carol curses.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #buy island nation, #sell a kit, #conquermoppress, #indigent people, #buy rhode island, #evil tyrant

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table. Dogbert reads a magazine entiteled "Islands", dilbert drinks coffee. Dogbert wags his tail and says, "did you know you can but your own island nation?" Dogbert says, "They even sell a kit that helps you conquer and oppress the indigent people!" Dogbert wags his tail and says on the phone, "I'd liike to buy Rhode Island... and one "evil tyrant" conquest kit." Person on the phone says, "Would you like a flag with that?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil, #director, #use the science, #determine potential, #riding proudly, #mighty thoroughbred horse, #jockey, #saddle

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. director" Catbert says, to Wally, "I will now use the science of facereading to dtermine your potential." CAtbert shines a flash light at Wally's face. Catbert says, "I see your face riding proudly atop a mighty thoroughbred horse." Wally says, "Jockey?" Catbert says, "Saddle."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #new engineer, #cheap, #huge raise, #under budget, #static electricity, #fuzzy cute, #dead now

View Transcript

Transcript

Title reads: "Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources." Catbert is at his desk. He says to Dilbert, "I hired a new engineer for your project." Catbert unveils the new engineer. He is a joke. His tongue hangs out of his mouth, his eyes are wide, his collar is up and one side of his shirt is untucked. Catbert says, "He's never been an engineer before." Dilbert listens as Catbert continues, "But YOU'RE an engineer, so how hard could it be?" Catbert adds, "And he's cheap! I'll get a huge raise for being under budget." Dilbert is getting furious. Catbert exclaims, "And your project will fail! Ha Ha Ha Ha!" As the new engineer reaches towards him, Catbert realizes, "Uh-oh. I laughed myself full of static electricity." The new engineer thinks, "Fuzzy. Cute." and pets Catbert. "Zap!" Dilbert, standing over the body of the new engineer, asks, "He's dead. Now what?" Catbert replies, "I guess you'll have to drag him to the meetings."