Its Been Nice Talking Comic Strips - Page 41
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Dilbert walks down the sidewalk. A man walking toward him says, "Hey, how are you? What's happenin'?" The man says, "Good to see you. I'm fine. Great, great. Take care." Dilbert thinks, "I guess there was no real need for me to participate in that."
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've decided it's time to stop talking about world hunger and start DOING something!" Dilbert continues, "Let others debate policies. My time to act is now." Dogbert asks, "You're going to buy a smarmy bumper sticker, aren't you?" Dilbert replies, "Darn straight."
A large man enters Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Yo, Dilbert, give me your lunch money or I'll erase your data diskettes." Dilbert replies, "Touch my data and I'll erase any mention of you from the main payroll computer." Beads of sweat flies from the man's head and he says, "No . . . Please, I'm sorry." Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "Nothing is more pathetic than an aging school bully." The man says, "I took shop; I can make you some nice bookends."
Dilbert and Dogbert walk down the sidewalk. A man walking in the other direction says, "Hi, Dilbert." Dilbert says, "Hi, Frank." The man says, "My name is Eddy, not Frank." Dilbert replies, "Oh . . . Right. Sorry, Eddy." Dilbert thinks, "This is so embarrassing." Eddy says, "Forgetting somebody's name is the worst insult in the world." Eddy continues, "Now my self-esteem has been damaged. My job performance will drop accordingly, and I'll be fired." Eddy shivers and says, "The stress is starting to affect my immune system. I'm getting a cold." Dogbert holds out his paw and says, "I'm Dogbert. Nice to meet you, Frank."
Dilbert kneels on the floor looking at a plant in a broken pot. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "It's weird . . . I was just talking to it like I ususally do and it fell off the desk . . ." Dogbert asks, "What's this little piece of paper?" Dogbert reads, "I couldn't take it anymore . . ."
Dogbert walks down a sidewalk and a man in a trenchcoat says, "Pssst . . . Comrade Dogsky. Will you sell your master's electronic secrets to nice Soviet man?" Dogbert asks, "Will you be wanting them on microfiche or hard copy?" Back at home, Dilbert asks, "You're going to cripple the WHAT?" Dogbert, who is carrying plans, replies, "Evil empire. Trust me on this."
Dilbert is scuba diving under the ocean. He photographs a whale and a squid. Dilbert thinks, "Wow! These pictures will prove that whales try to communicate with squids!" Back at home, Dilbert says, "Dogbert, guess who I saw talking to a squid." Dogbert asks, "Who?" Dilbert replies, "I have prints of whales." Dogbert thinks, "The Prince of Wales?" Dilbert says, "It's too bad I'm so modest. This discovery could make me famous." Dogbert thinks, "The public must be told." Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. A television newscaster says, ". . . And in the news, a local man has witnessed Prince Charles talking to a squid." Dogbert says, "Maybe Chuck thought it was Margaret Thatcher."
Dogbert sits at the table reading a book. Dilbert says, "You've been reading that World Almanac for hours." Dogbert replies, "I'm looking for nations I can conquer on a limited budget." Dogbert says, "Here's one: 'Andorra. 185 square miles. Only 56,000 people. Joint rule by France and Spain . . .'" Dogbert says, "Hmm . . . 'King Dogbert of Andorra' has a nice ring to it. Now I just need some mercenaries." Dilbert asks, "How are you going to pay for mercenaries?" Dogbert replies, "I'll float some junk bonds until we can loot the treasury of Andorra." Dilbert says, "It strikes me as a bit unethical." Dogbert says, "Apparently I'll have to imprison some dissidents."
Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs sit on the floor in front of Dilbert's chair. Dilbert says, ". . . So the theory that dinosaurs were destroyed when a giant meteor collided with earth . . ." Bob says, ". . . Was highly exaggerated." A dinosaur points at another dinosaur who lies underneath a meteor and says, "Ha ha, Larry! Ha ha!" Another animal says, "Nice catch." From underneath the meteor, Larry says, "Ouch!"
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, ". . . And nature has a way of compensating for weakness." Dogbert asks, "Really?" Dilbert explains, "That's why blind people often develop great hearing." Dogbert says, "I guess that also explains why stupid people have big mouths."