Let Me Die Comic Strips - Page 41

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474 Results for Let Me Die

View 401 - 410 results for let me die comic strips. Discover the best "Let Me Die" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #all day meetings, #cutting staff, #giving stats reports, #layers, #quality team meeting, #root cause, #slow computers, #slow design, #wild guesses

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Dilbert: Thank you all for coming to our engineering quality team meeting. Dilbert: Today we'll try to identify the root cause of our slow design process. Wally: Let me take some wild guesses here. Management keeps increasing our work and cutting our staff. Wally: we spend all out time giving status reports to unnecessary layers of management!! Wally: ow we're having all -day meetings to talk about our efficiency!! Dilbert: I was kinda hoping for some thing that inst anybody fault. Our computers are too slow. we need new ones, Dilbert: now we're getting someplace.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #static, #copyright, #fifty billion, #film library, #blow deal, #copyrighted everything

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Dilbert: You can't copyright the static on blank TV channels! Dogbert: "I already did." Dilbert: "You can't let my company pay fifty billion dollars to buy your so-called film library." Dogbert: "I already am." Dilbert: "I may have to blow the whistle on this deal." DOgbert: "It'll have to be a nose whistle - I copyrighted everything else."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #projects floundering, #bold strategy, #reorganize, #department, #last month, #bold

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The Boss: All of our projects are floundering. I decided on a bold new strategy. Dilbert: Let me guess You're going to randomly reorganize the department.... Dilbert: Just like last month. The Boss: you have to admit thats bold.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #business project, #business meeting, #aruba

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Wally and Dilbert stand at the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to manage Wally's project while he's on vacation in Aruba." The Boss thinks, "Let the shirk-fest games begin." Dilbert asks, "Isn't that the week when everything is due?" Wally says, "Coincidence." Dilbert says to Wally, "Maybe you could change your plans." Wally holds up his airline tickets and says, "Non-refundable tickets right here!" Dilbert says, "The project can't be important if you won't change your plans." Wally thinks, "He's GOOD." Dilbert tells the Boss, "I'll be happy to add Wally's project to the bottom of my pile and let it fail with Wally's name on it." Dilbert tells Wally, "When you're in Aruba, study the waiters carefully - it's probably your new career." The Boss thinks, "Two free tickets to Aruba - I win."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #Dilbert, #the boss, #presentation

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss, Alice and Wally. Dilbert says, "I boosted the power on the pointer pen light so it's easier to see on the wall." Dilbert says, "Look how strong it is now." Dilbert turns the pen on. The beam from the pen burns the hair off the tops of the Boss's and Alice's heads. The Boss says, "Let me see that. I've got a few things to point out." Alice says, "Next."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #Wally, #cryogenic, #death, #future

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The Boss tells Wally and Dilbert, "I just arranged to have my body cryogenically frozen before my death." The Boss continues, "In a hundred years I'll be revived and cured. That way, future generations will get the benefits of knowing me." Wally says, "I hope you have a good warm coat." The Boss asks, "Coat? Nobody said anything about needing a coat." Wally explains, "Obviously you need a coat. It's freezing in that cryogenic chamber. You'd better wear long underwear too." Wally continues, "Don't let then tell you otherwise. Remember, the customer is always right!" The Boss walks away thinking, "I want a space heater in there too!" Dilbert tells Wally, "That wasn't nice." Wally replies, "I did it for future generations."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #bioworld, #experiement, #Food, #air, #gone, #sadistic, #car, #salespeople, #boss, #saturn

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Man: Please... End the bio world experiment. We're out of food. Air is almost gone. We pray there was no sadistic intent when you chose only car salespeople for the experiment... Please... At least let some air in... Dogbert: Gee, I really want to help. I'll go try to convince my boss to see it your way. Man: Hey! I'm a "saturn" dealer- I'm different!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #hospital, #doctor, #computer, #bed, #flu

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Dilbert sits on an examining table wearing only his underwear. He asks, "Is it the flu?" The doctor looks at a chart and says, "Hmm . . ." The doctor says, "I had the computer run an economic report on the market value of your organs." The doctor continues, "I could make thousands of dollars by selling your parts for transplants." The doctor continues, "Of course, this is all moot unless you die in my office while under my care." The doctor says, "But if I let you die from the flu then my malpractice insurance will go up again." The doctor continues, "But if you live I can continue to bill you for unnecessary tests." The doctor continues, "There's a slight economic advantage to keeping you alive . . . If you leave three pints of blood and do me a little favor." Back at home, Dilbert lies face down on the bed. He tells Dogbert, "Then I had to wax his Jeep with my clothes." Dogbert replies, "Apparently he didn't know what kind of fabrics you wear."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #man, #experiment, #volunteers, #laptop

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Dilbert sits outside the dome and types on a laptop, "Day one of the Bioworld experiment is off to a rocky start." Dilbert types, "The volunteers have no edible plants and the oxygen level is dropping." The volunteers hold signs that say "Help" and "Let us out." Dilbert types, "Fortunately, most of the volunteers are ex-car salespeople, so we remain emotionally uninvolved." Dogbert says, "Look how they spelled 'oxygen.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #noriko, #bob, #dinosaur, #the boss, #explaining, #generation, #simple, #Political, #power, #adults, #planet, #lifted, #briefs, #spun, #twirling wedgie

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Noriko: Stop right there, mister adult! You've got some explaining to do to my generation. The Boss: It's quite simple, really children have no political power. So we adults can plunder the planet, run up huge debts, then die and fat and happy! Noriko: I've never seen anybody lifted by his briefs and spun in the air like that. Bob: That's my "twirling wedgie."