New Product Comic Strips - Page 41

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1000 Results for New Product

View 401 - 410 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apps, gadgets, mobile (cell) phones, new smartphone, tongue on flagpole, victime of good marketing, voice reception

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Carol: Check out my new smartphone! The voice receptions is a bit weak, but I can usually make a call if I keep my tongue on a flagpole. Alice: You might be a victim of good marketing. Carol: It has apps!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gadgets, mobile (cell) phones, new phone, recommendations, dropped calls, poor battery life, hate the messenger, build phones

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Carol: I need a new phone. Which one do you recommend? Dilbert: Do you want to be angry about your dropped calls or angry about your poor battery life? Don't hate the messenger. Carol: People similar to you build phones.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags absent mindedness, computers & peripherals, unix servers, new servers, new names

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Wally: This week I renamed all of the Unix servers to make them easier to remember. In phase one, the new names exist only in my mind. I won't know if they're easy to remember until next week. Dilbert: How are the new server names? Wally: I don't know what you're talking about. Next week.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer software, internet & world wide web, coding, paywall, website, wrote script, new content, idea to eliminate, revenue, lowered costs, technology

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Boss: Wally, did you finish coding the paywall for our website? Wally: I did something better. I wrote a script to delete any new content as soon as it's posted. At bonus time, keep in mind that you're the one who had the idea to eliminate revenue, and I'm the one who lowered hosting costs.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, suspicion, features for product, overstaffed, spare time, job description, healthy raise, highest performance rating

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Dilbert: In my spare time I created some awesome new features for our product. Boss: GAAA!!! Shut the door! Dilbert: What?!! Boss: You fool! If my boss finds out you have spare time, he'll think we're overstaffed! You can never speak of these awesome new features again. Dilbert: I'm confused. You told me I need to go above and beyond my job description to get the highest performance rating. Boss: That's just something I say to keep you from getting a healthy raise. Dilbert: So... I lose no matter what I do? Boss: For what it's worth, you're doing better than our customers.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, saving & investment, intentional billing errors, honest mistakes, maintain bonuses, pipelien, new errors, pension algorythm, money

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Carol: Once again, our only profitable line of business is "intentional billing errors." It started as a series of honest mistakes. Now it's the only way we can maintain our bonuses. Boss: Do we have anything better in the pipeline? Carol: R&D is testing some new errors for our pension algorithm.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boats, business ethics, new boat, engineers, skills, boss's boat, picture, nautical interests

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Boss: Who wants to see a picture of my new boat? Dilbert: That's a very good question. If we consider the fact that we work much harder than he does... Carol: And we have valuable engineering skills, whereas he can't operate the GPS in his SUV... and for some reason we don't get paid enough to buy impressive boats. Dilbert: And we have no nautical interests whatsoever. I think your best bet is people who don't know you. Man: And you are? Boss: This only works if we don't get too familiar.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, children drawing & painting, executives, chalky substance, layers of mangement, new layers, p, avp, director, doplphon, inanimate object

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CEO: I'm adding a few layers of management below me. The new layers are VP, AVP, Director, dolphin, inanimate object, and chalky substance. If you have any issue, I encourage you to talk to the chalky substance.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers & peripherals, fraternization, friends with ghots, ghandi, ghost personal page, ghosts, heaven, internet & world wide web, llincoln, satellite pictures, social media, social network, technology

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Dogbert: Our new product will be a social network for people who want to be friends with ghosts. We'll post satellite pictures on each ghost's personal page and say the photos were taken from heaven. Man: Abraham Lincoln posted new pictures. Woman: I'm chatting with Gandhi! Later.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fraternization, internet & world wide web, friends with ghoats, real freinds, imaginary ones, idea is ridiculous, ridiculous idea, facebook freinds

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Dogbert: You need to create a product that gives people the illusion of being friends with ghosts. Boss: People only want real friends, not imaginary ones. Your idea is ridiculous. Dogbert: How many friends do you have on Facebook? Boss: Seven hundred. Why?