Work Comic Strips - Page 41

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View 401 - 410 results for work comic strips. Discover the best "Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

Robot Learns To Procreate

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Robot Learns To Procreate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, mind control, thinking, life, creation, conscience, sentience, manipulation

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Robot: I figured out how to procreate. Boss: I don't like the sound of this. Robot: I infected you with an idea virus that tells you to build more robots. Boss: Won't work. CEO: Does anyone have an idea for increasing efficiency in our manufacturing process?

Dick From The Internet

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Dick From The Internet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet, comment, jerk, racism, misconstrue, social media, technology

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Dilbert: An Elbonian start-up invented a new kind of computer mouse. Coworker: Wait until I tell the world that you compared Elbonians to mice, you racists! Hi, I'm Dick, from the Internet. Wally: We're familiar with your work.

Give Up On Making Them Happy

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Give Up On Making Them Happy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, deception, perspective, work, office, marriage, psychology, relationships

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Boss: I'm giving up on trying to keep them happy. My new plan is to tell them things are worse everywhere else. Catbert: Will that work? Boss: It worked on my wife.

The Boss Had A Great Weekend

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The Boss Had A Great Weekend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, work ethic, Fun, weekend, listening, frustration, fair, fairness, equality, business

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Boss: Wow, I had an amazing weekend at my mountain cabin. Wine, friends, food, and amazing views! Dilbert: I worked all weekend because you said you would fire me if I didn't get this done by your arbitrary deadline. Boss: You're a terrible listener.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags management, strategy, productivity, humane, inhumane, treatment, surveillance, watching, privacy, work, office workers

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Boss: We are going to start monitoring employee productivity in real time. Any questions? Dilbert: I need one clarification. Are you saying you removed the last shred of human dignity from our jobs and reduced us to nothing but a meat machine that suffers in a state of perpetual inadequacy as each person is compared to an arbitrary and ever-growing goal until there is no realistic way for the employee to find happiness through natural means? Boss: That's one way to look at it.

It's Easier If We Don't Try To Link Performance And Outcomes

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It's Easier If We Don't Try To Link Performance And Outcomes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags performance, reward, consequences, consequence, result, outcome, logic, reasoning, laziness, work ethic

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Boss: So don't let that happen again. Dilbert: It wasn't my fault and you know it. Boss: It's easier if we don't try to link performance and outcomes. Dilbert: I'll try. It was hard at first, but now I'm totally stress-free. Wally: I just got a 30% raise.

Two Choices For A Project

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Two Choices For A Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags question, trick, choice, illusion, work, assignment, power

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Boss: Do you want the boring and awful project that is likely to succeed... or the fun project that is certain to fail and take your career with it? Dilbert: You came here to give both of them to me. Boss: Ha ha! You know me.

Not Saving Enough For Retirement

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Not Saving Enough For Retirement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags money, saving, retirement, bleak, despair, pessimist, old people, elderly

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Wally: Most people are not saving enough for retirement. So I see no reason to work hard and save money just so my retirement condo can be overrun by starving seniors. Too bleak? Alice: A little!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags social, party, invite, relationships, friend, friendship, test, popularity

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Dilbert: I'm having some people over to my house after work. Would you like to come? Woman: Who else is coming? Dilbert: Seven people said maybe, and one said he would get back to me. I think that shows a lot of interest. So how about it? Can you come? Woman: It depends on whether my sister needs a ride to the airport. Dilbert: When will you know? Woman: I'll text you. Dogbert: Are you sad that no one came? Dilbert: No, I was just A-B testing to see if I still hate all of them.

Death By Emoji

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Death By Emoji - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags emoji, communication, miscommunication, murder, crime, deception, engineers, work ethic

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Boss: I tried to use emoji characters and accidentally ordered two of my engineers to kill Ted. They say they did it. CEO: Did the engineers complain about being too busy to do it? Boss: No. Oh, I see it now. CEO: Total hoax.