200k Per Year Comic Strips - Page 41

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

411 Results for 200k Per Year

View 401 - 410 results for 200k per year comic strips. Discover the best "200k Per Year" comics from Dilbert.com.

Tweaking Variables

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tweaking Variables - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #strategy, #stupidity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't get my five-year projections to match what you told the board. Boss: Try tweaking the variables until they do. Dilbert: That would make me a liar. Boss: Nah. In five years it will look like ordinary stupidity.

Wally Plans His Retirement

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Plans His Retirement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #retirement, #profit

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: the product i'm developing will be unprofitable for the first none years, but revenue will surge in the tenth. the boss: didn't you tell me you plan to retire in nine years? wally: maybe. the boss: you will be happily retired before we find out if profits really do surge in year ten. the boss: that makes everything you say sound suspicious. wally: numbers don't lie. the boss: who came up with the numbers? wally: that's all the time we have for questions.

It Already Works

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
It Already Works - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #phone, #nuclear

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: your so-called "safe" nuclear power invention will never work. dilbert: it already works. i'm charging my phone with it. office worker: i mean, it will never be economical. dilbert: it can power a small city for a dollar per day. office worker: pffft. i'll bet it ends up costing triple that.

Be More Like Alice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Be More Like Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complain, #office, #office workers, #pay raise

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i can't give you a raise because you didn't do anything noteworthy this year. dilbert: it only seems that way because i'm so good at my job that i make it look easy and never complain. alice visually upset and yelling: my job is a nightmare!!! the boss: why can't you be more like alice?

Encouraging Smoking

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Encouraging Smoking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #office workers, #smoking, #turnover, #breaks

View Transcript

Transcript

dibert, the boss and ask at conference table. the boss: our plan for reducing turnover is to encourage smoking. the boss: that way, everyone gets a relaxing smoke break several times per day. dilbert: or non-smokers could take breaks. the boss: now i wish you had been in the meeting when we planned this.

Centralizing The Decentralized

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Centralizing The Decentralized - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #value

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need to randomly change something so it seems as if being a manager is a real job. Maybe I should centralize all the functions I decentralized last year. Catbert: Or you could find a way to add value. Boss: I'm not magic.

Performance Versus Pay

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Performance Versus Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #angry, #big business, #employees, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #money, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a bonus this year because we paid too much to buy another company. Dilbert: Are you saying my efforts and my rewards are no longer linked? Boss: Noooo. I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just saying your compensation isn't influenced by your performance. Dilbert: That's the same thing! Boss: Teamwork means we all share the rewards and we all have to share the pain. Dilbert: Does that mean management won't be getting bonuses either? Boss: Now you've made it awkward.

Violating Rules

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Violating Rules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #rules, #business, #audit, #employees, #company

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: our internal audit found that you violated over four hundred company rules in the past year. dilbert: i'm also the only employee who accomplished anything last year. now connect the dots. boss: so you're saying we need more rules.

Compilation Video

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Compilation Video  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #useful, #video, #co-workers, #incompetent, #comparision, #meeting, #compile

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: you think i didn't do anything useful this year. so i made a compilation video of my co-workers being incompetent in meetings for comparison. boss: at least they are trying. wally: as you can see, maybe they shouldn't.

People Believe Anything

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
People Believe Anything - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #business, #people, #believe, #anything, #whisper, #campaign, #rival, #management, #dumb, #covid, #pandemic

View Transcript

Transcript

all parties wearing face masks. boss: i'm starting a whisper campaign against my rival in management. i want you to tell people he buys babies from the poor and eats them. dilbert: no one is dumb enough to believe that. boss: people will believe anything. dilbert: not anything. boss: yes, anything. dilbert: fine. i'll try it, but only to prove how wrong you are. office worker: how many does he eat per day? dilbert thinking: i need a new planet.