Best Comedy So Far Comic Strips - Page 41
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411 Results for Best Comedy So Far
View 401 - 410 results for best comedy so far comic strips. Discover the best "Best Comedy So Far" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday December 20,
2020
Wally Makes A Suggestion
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #product idea, #idea, #debunk
Transcript
wally: did you see my brilliant product idea i emailed to you? boss: yes, i already debunked it in my mind. wally: perhaps you could share your reasons. boss: if it's such a great idea. why isn't someone else doing it? and if someone is already doing it, we are far too late. in order for your idea to be good, i would have to think you are smarter than everyone in the industry. and seriously, just look at you. anyone else have an idea? others: nope. nope, never. nope.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday December 25,
2020
Can't Tell When He Is Joking
Tags #business, #joking, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #employment, #moon lighting, #work, #video conference
Transcript
dilbert, boss and asok in front of laptop on video conference call. voice from laptop: excuse me. i have to take a call from one of the other employers who also believes i work for them full time from home. boss to dilbert: i can't tell when he's joking. dilbert: that's probably for the best.
Sunday January 31,
2021
Lazy People Are Efficient
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #efficient, #projects, #lazy, #assignments, #useful
Transcript
wally: they say the laziest employees are the best because they know how to be efficient. i don't think i get enough credit for all of my efficiency. boss: efficiency only matters if you are doing something useful. wally: you're the one who gives me my assignments. boss: i don't ask you to do anything useful because you are too lazy. wally: are the useful projects generally harder that the useless ones? boss: yes. wally: then i'd say the system is working.
Friday April 02,
2021
Dogbert Makes A Deal
Tags #business, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #subordinates, #behavior, #accusation, #press, #douse, #gasoline, #fire, #deal, #fairness, #negotiators
Transcript
dogbert: i made a deal with all of the subordinates who accused you of inappropriate behavior. they will stop talking to the press if you agree to let them douse you with gasoline and set you on fire. ceo: that's the best deal you could get me? dogbert: in all fairness, they are great negotiators, and i don't like you.
Sunday May 02,
2021
Remote Workers Do Not Mate
Tags #appearance, #dating, #love & dating, #walking, #outdoors, #dating app, #woman, #app, #reproduction, #inner qualities, #goodbye, #genes
Transcript
dilbert and dogbert walking outside. dogbert: they say most people meet their future mates at work. now that you are working from home, your odds of mating just turned negative. you could try using a dating app to find a woman, but then you'd need to rely on your looks. obviously, that's a dead end. your best chance of reproduction has always been to wear down a co-worker over several years. women need time to get over your appearance, and to appreciate your inner qualities. we should have a goodbye party for your genes. dilbert: maybe next time we could walk and not talk. dogbert: maybe.
Sunday May 09,
2021
Boss Isn't Fair
Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #project, #fair, #repeating, #bump, #head
Transcript
dilbert and ceo on video call. dilbert: it isn't fair that alice gets all the best projects. boss: and what's your point? dilbert: it's not fair. boss: you already said that. dilbert: you should do something to make it more fair. boss: why? dilbert: because it's not fair? boss: did you bump your head?
Wednesday May 26,
2021
Opposition Research
Tags #business, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #accomplishments, #year, #opposition, #research, #co-workers, #ranking, #employees, #idea
Transcript
wally: it might seem as though i accomplished very little this year. and that's true. but i also have a trove of opposition research on my co-workers. boss: what? wally: ranking employees against one another was your best idea ever.
Friday June 25,
2021
Inspirational Poster
Tags #business, #sarcasm, #new, #inspirational, #poster, #apathy, #die, #criticize, #draft, #not good
Transcript
dogbert: i'm going into the inspirational poster business. so far, all i have is "nothing matters because you're going to die anyway." dilbert: that's not good. dogbert: it's easy to criticize a first draft.
Monday June 28,
2021
Firing By Text
Tags #business, #employment, #text, #smartphone, #fire, #remote, #workforce, #thumbs-up, #sarcasm
Transcript
boss: the best part of having a remote workforce is firing them by text. boss typing on smartphone. Boss: ted, you're fired. tap tap tap. catbert: it's done? boss: no, i also need to give a thumbs-up to his crying face emoji.