Ceo Comic Strips - Page 41

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627 Results for Ceo

View 401 - 410 results for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting Corrected

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Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting   Corrected - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, lying, deadline, boss, executive

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CEO: Is the software finished as your boss promised me it would be? Dilbert: I forgot to go to the pre-meeting for this meeting, so I'll guess the answer is.. yes? CEO: Okay, keep up the good work! Dilbert: Thanks goodness he doesn't know what the truth even looks like.

Picking The Spaceship Staff

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Picking The Spaceship Staff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags space, space flight, rocket, death, sacrifice, astronaut, medical

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CEO: How's the Mars spaceship project going? Boss: Good. I picked our worst employees to be on the first test flight, just in case it explodes. CEO: Good thinking. Boss: We have two ways to win and no way to lose.

Looks Good But Won't Work

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Looks Good But Won't Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ideas, impracticality, managers, leadership, threat

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Boss: The one they call Dilbert suggested we do something that looks good but won't work. CEO: Is this the first trace of management potential you've seen from him? Boss: You think it's a fluke? CEO: Let's keep an eye on it.

Resources Complain

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Resources Complain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags leadership, language, jargon, manager

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Man: I want to lodge a complaint against Dilbert. He called me a "resource." I find that offensive. Boss: Then he offended one of the resources. CEO: You're right. He does sound like a natural leader.

Dilbert Has Management Potential

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Dilbert Has Management Potential - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manager, honesty, insult, obliviousness

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Boss: Our CEO thinks you have management potential. Dilbert: What did I do to deserve that kind of insult??! Boss: He called you a heartless monster. CEO: He speaks truth to power. I like it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags failure, blame, executives, scapegoat

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Dilbert: Our sales for the quarter were zero. CEO: Heads will roll! Whose fault is this. Dilbert: It's entirely your fault. You told a reporter that our next version will be amazing. So all of our customers are waiting for the new version. The only sensible solution here is for you to admit your mistake and resign in utter humiliation. CEO: Or... I could blame this guy, whatever his name is. Man: That isn't right. CEO: Looks like I'll be adding insubordination to the charges.

Don't Make Eye Contact With Ceo

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Don't Make Eye Contact With Ceo  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags presentation, public speaking, nervous, anxious, fear

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Asok: I'm nervous because I need to make a presentation to our CEO. Do you have any advice? Wally: Don't make eye contact with him. He hates that. Asok: You have made things far worse! Wally: He also flies into a rage when he hears the word "the."

75 Slides Too Long

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75 Slides Too Long  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags public speaking, presentation, length, brevity, powerpoint

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Asok: I have 75 slides to discuss in ten minutes. Save your questions to the end. CEO: Sit down and never talk to me again as long as you live. Dilbert: How'd the CEO presentation go? Asok: It was 75 slides too long.

Ceo Likes Asok's Presentation

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Ceo Likes Asok's Presentation  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags presentation, public speaking, powerpoint

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Boss: Our CEO said he liked your presentation. Asok: He made me shut up and sit down before I got to my first slide. Boss: He's not a big fan of content.

Dilbert Might Be Colluding

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Dilbert Might Be Colluding  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags collusion, trump, russia, rumor, conjecture

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CEO: People tell me Dilbert's project is in chaos. Why is that? Boss: Maybe he's been colluding with our Elbonian competitors. But that's just a guess. CEO: I can't unhear that.