Old System Comic Strips - Page 41
430 Results for Old System
View 401 - 410 results for old system comic strips. Discover the best "Old System" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share December 25, 2016's comic on:
Boss: Wally, I want you to train our new hire. Wally: The first thing you need to know is that we never use the DPX system when the MGB is down. Man: The... what and the what? Wally: Hold your questions till the end. You can use our PX4 to tunnel into the B9 data and produce at TMNP report. But you'll need authorization from the LDG and the MICOO. Man: I don't understand any of that! Wally: I toldy you to hold your questions until the end. Always remember to jost the primpram whenever the gip is fleeming toward kilp. Man: Maybe I should ask someone else to train me. Wally: Now we're making progress.
Share January 30, 2017's comic on:
Never go to a robotic hair transplant center on the same day they upgrade the software. Is that the surgery where they take hair from the back of your head and fill in the bald spot? That's how the old software worked. The new one didn't respect boundaries.
Share February 03, 2017's comic on:
Boss: Why can't we innovate as quickly as our competition? Dilbert: Maybe it's because our management is like a family of squirrels that lives inside an old tree. Boss: Can you be more specific? Dilbert: It's a Goodyear tire with five grey squirrels.
Share February 22, 2017's comic on:
Tina: How long would it take to add that feature to the legacy system? Wally: That depends. When will the new system replace the legacy system? Tina: In six months. Wally: The new feature would take seven months.
Share March 19, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: What's the URL for the test site? Boss: Ask Amy. Dilbert; Amy is a mumbler. I can't understand a word she says. Boss; Just ask her to speak up. Dilbert: I've tried that. All she does is mumble louder. And whenever I ask her a question by email, she answers the wrong question. If the only person who knows the URL for the test site is Amy, we probably need to build a new site and tell someone else the URL. Amy might be the most useless employee in the entire company. Wally: Can you teach me to mumble? Amy: Mumble, mumble, mumble. Narrator: Get your own system.
Share April 09, 2017's comic on:
Boss: How's work? Dilbert: Well, since you asked... it's like being trapped in a garbage compactor and no one can hear me scream. All my hopes and dreams have died, along with my immune system and my dignity. The only thing keeping me alive is that food tastes good. I tried to escape into my imagination, but I learned I don't have one. My life has no meaning. Each second is a slow-motion ordeal. Why do I get the feeling you weren't listening to any of that? Boss:My day was good too.
Share May 07, 2017's comic on:
Tina; Are you going to the department meeting? Dilbert: Yes, as soon as I plan my route. I have seven co-workers who I need to avoid on the way. Three are nonstop talkers. The other four ask me for something every time I see them. I've mapped their likely locations and I'm working out an avoidance path. Yes, I think I can do it. Tina: Is that my name on your list of employees to avoid? Dilbert: I didn't say it was a perfect system.
Share May 12, 2017's comic on:
Robot: Hey, everybody! I'm the new robot! Dilbert: No, you're our old robot. We erased your memories and replaced your head. Robot: So, I'm working with serial killers? Asok: It isn't "serial" until we do you.
Share July 26, 2017's comic on:
Share September 17, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: And that's how much money the new system will save us per year. Man: Apparently you don't care how much it costs because you're an ignorant narcissist. Dilbert: I talked about the costs in great detail. What's wrong with you? Man: Oh, I guess you're walking it all back now. Dilbert: There's nothing to walk back. I'm saying the same thing I said earlier. Man: Nice try, hypocrite! Dilbert: I don't know what is happening right now!!! Man: Why is he so defensive? Boss: He's losing it.