Shake Hands Comic Strips - Page 41

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485 Results for Shake Hands

View 401 - 410 results for shake hands comic strips. Discover the best "Shake Hands" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #body double, #despots, #most successful, #double, #take hit, #personal dress code, #dress intern

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Dogbert stands on The Boss' desk and says, "You need a body double. They're popular with your most successful despots." Dogbert continues, "If someone tries to ambush you into making a decision, the double will take the hit." The Boss approaches Asok with a pointy-haired hat in his hands and says, "I want you to think of this as your own personal dress code."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2003's comic on:


Tags #write rebuttal, #technical recommendation, #reject, #rebuttal, #mock yourself, #got to bed

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The Boss hands Dilbert a document and says, "Write a rebuttal to this technical recommendation so I can reject it." Dilbert responds, "I can't write a rebuttal to my own recommendation!" Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "... Then I had to write myself up for insubordination." Dogbert replies, "Mock yourself and go to bed."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2003's comic on:


Tags #corner cubicle, #window control, #mad woman, #giant magnifiying glass, #life support

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Dilbert approaches Wally and says, "Alice moved into the corner cubicle and claimed control over the window shades!" Wally exclaims, "Gaaa!!" Dilbert says, "Our life support systems will be in the hands of a madwoman!" Wally is sweating and panicked. He says, "Maybe she'll be kind." Alice is holding on to a giant magnifying glass that she's attached to her cubicle wall."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2003's comic on:


Tags #summarize for ceo, #obliterate persuasiveness, #being wordy

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The Boss hands Dilbert a stack of papers and says, "Can you summarize this on one page for our CEO?" Dilbert responds, "Yes, but it will obliterate the persuasiveness of the document and cost us billions in lost opportunity." The Boss responds, "I see your point, but being wordy is bad, too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2003's comic on:


Tags #extortion magazine, #more ad space, #week old spit, #half page ad

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Carol hands The Boss a magazine and says, "Our products got reviewed in the new issue of 'Extortion Magazine.'" The Boss reads, "If they had bought more ad space in this magazine, we would not compare their products to week-old spit." Carol says, "It's better than last month." The Boss responds, "I'll bet we can get to 'day-old' with another half-page ad."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2003's comic on:


Tags #new product brochures, #design awards, #great, #award winning designer, #can't stop complaining

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In a meeting, a co-worker hands Dilbert a brochure and exclaims, "The new product brochures have already won design awards!" Dilbert responds, "That's great, but our product won't do any of the things you claim here." The co-worker crosses his arm and says, "Well, who should we believe - the award-winning designer or the guy who can't stop complaining?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2003's comic on:


Tags #switch to decaf, #secretly, #office, #employees sleeping, #sleep on job

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Carol is sitting on a doctor's examination table. The doctor says, "Switch to decaf for a while. That should help." Back at the office, Alice holds bag of coffee in her hands and thinks, "I'll replace all the office coffee with decaf for my convenience." In the hallway, The Boss, Alice, and Dilbert are all asleep on the floor. Wally is slumped down; he thinks, "Must...find... antidote."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2003's comic on:


Tags #value of merger, #large number, #marketing department, #frooglepoopillion

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "The company will be taking a one-time charge to write down the value of our merger." The Boss continues, "The number is so large that it has no name. Our marketing department is on it." A co-worker raises his hand and says, "Let's see a show of hands for 'Frooglepoopillion.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2003's comic on:


Tags #accounting trolls, #profits, #worst case scenario

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Headline: Accounting Trolls. The Boss hands a troll a document and asks, "What would happen to our profits if we wrote off these bone-headed mistakes?" The troll's head explodes, "Pow!" The Boss asks, "And how about the worst-case scenario?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 2003's comic on:


Tags #corporate witch hunt, #products stink, #diving rod, #liar, #pormise, #honor of family, #holy

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Headline: Corporate Witch-Hunt. The Boss asks Alice, "Alice, did you tell a reporter that our producs stink?" Alice responds, "I promise on the honor of my family, and on all that is holy, that I did not." Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches from behind with a device in his hands. He says, "So I guess you're calling my divining rod a liar."