Sitting Comic Strips - Page 41

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449 Results for Sitting

View 401 - 410 results for sitting comic strips. Discover the best "Sitting" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #talking, #vendor, #pitching, #idea, #praying, #agreeing, #begging, #promises, #ridiculous

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Man says, "We have the best hidden costs of any vendor." Man says, "Our upgrade and maintenance fees won't kick in until you've already received a bonus for reducing costs." Man thinks, "Please, please, please be a sociopath." Wally says, "Sounds good. I'm not a big fan of our stockholders."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #meeting, #idea, #ridicule, #contradiction, #misunderstood, #stupidity, #business

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The Boss says, "We need more of what the management experts call 'Employee engagement.'" The boss says, "I don't know the details, but it has something to do with you idiots working harder for the same pay." Dilbert says, "Is anything different on your end?" The boss says, "I think I'm supposed to be happier."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2009's comic on:


Tags #new years, #home, #sitting, #celebrating, #early, #losers, #floor

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Dilbert says, "It's new year's eve. Do you want to stay up until midnight?" Dogbert says, "Only losers wait until midnight. The Dogbert new year begins at 10 PM." Dilbert says, "It's 10 PM now." Dogbert says, "And I like to celebrate by giving myself a hug....mmm...."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2009's comic on:


Tags #questions, #business, #reasoning, #thinking, #plants

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Dilbert says, "You're watering a plastic plant." man says, "yes, I am." Dilbert says, "Why?" man says, "Funny story." Many says, "Your boss replaced the live plants with plastic ones to save money." man says, "My company has the contract to water your office plants." Man says, "No one ever cancelled our contract." Man says, "Now my career is less important than a gnat's toot in a hurricane." man says, "But it's still way better than sitting in a fabric-covered box all day." Dilbert thinks, "I need to stop talking to people."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #meeting, #award, #incentive, #contradiction, #unimportant, #ridiculous, #business

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The boss says, "I want you three to put together a teamwork award program." Wally says, "If we do a good job, can we give ourselves the award?" The boss says, "No." Alice says, "Great. Now I have no incentive to do a good job on this award thing." The boss says, "Keeping your job should be all the incentive you need." Dilbert says, "Then why does anyone need a teamwork award?" Wally says, "Let's just slap something together and randomly nominate people." Asok says, "I got a teamwork award and yet I feel no different." Dilbert says, "Yup."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #sitting, #frustrated, #value, #useful, #ceo, #business

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The Boss says, ?Our CEO asked each manager to describe his group's function on one slide.? The Boss says, ?I don't see how I can fit all of our various functions on one powerpoint slide.? Dilbert says, ?You could say, 'we spend all of our time trying to convince others that we have value.'? The Boss says, ?That's not all we do.? Alice says, ?Sometimes we also argue about what we do.? The Boss says, ?That's just what we're doing right now. Tomorrow we'll be doing something totally useful.? Dilbert says, ?Maybe you could add a footnote to the slide that says, 'we dream of someday being productive.'? Dilbert says, ?Or you could exaggerate our accomplishments to create a misleading sense of our potential.? The Boss says, ?Yes!? The Boss says, ?What have we accomplished lately?? Wally says, ?We got paid for planning to lie to our CEO.?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2010's comic on:


Tags #cost estimate, #deny, #numbers, #manipulate, #decisions, #hurt, #typing at computer, #humming noise, #annoy, #go away, #angry face, #home, #sitting on couch

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Coworker says, "Can I get a rough cost estimate for the design phase?" Dilbert says, "No. I don't trust you with numbers." Coworker says, "What?" Dilbert says, "You're the kind of guy who will remove useful qualifiers and distribute a figure as if it is true in all cases." Dilbert says, "Decisions will be made. People will get hurt." Dilbert says, "For everyone's sake, the safest thing I can do is make an annoying humming sound until you go away." Dilbert says, "Hummmmm-mmmmmmmmm-mmmmm." Dilbert says, "Half of life is making people go away." Dogbert says, "Humm-mmmm"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2005's comic on:


Tags #work load, #complaints, #drowning in work, #priorotize, #fax, #new guy set, #faxing project, #reading comics

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The Boss: "Carol, the new manager hasn't hired an admin. so I said he could share you." Carol: "What?!!" "I'm drowning in work, and you want to double my load???!!!" The boss: "It's no big deal. Just prioritize your work." "And I need you to fax this." Carol: "No can do." "My top priority is getting the new guy all set up." The Boss: "Hmmm... I guess that's fair. I'll send him over." Carol: "I can't order your business cards, I need to do a huge faxing project!" "Hee hee! Marmaduke is sitting on something again!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2005's comic on:


Tags #tuesday off, #kids tonsils, #not suregon, #rare blood type, #donate blood, #moral supprt, #real winner, #immoral and sick, #cold on tuesday

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"I need Tuesday off because my son is having his tonsils removed." "Since when do you know how to remove tonsils?" "Um...I won't be performing the surgery myself." "Do you have a rare blood type that you need to donate?" "No. Actually, I was planning on sitting in the waiting room to give him moral support." "So your kid is immoral and sick? He sounds like a real winner." "What I mean is that I plan to have a cold on Tuesday." "Well, I can see where your kid gets it from."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2005's comic on:


Tags #alice, #boss, #car call, #diustarcted, #made distracted, #driving, #crashed

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Rrring! Alice : Now what? This is alice. Jo its your boss. alice: GAAA! its a car call. he's using me toenetratin himself while he's sitting in traffic Boss: How everything? Alice: I'll lose and hour of my life if I don't get him off the phone, Boss: Nice weather today. Alice: Do me a favor and look in your brief case to see if my latest report is there. The boss: Okay. The boss: and turn down your radio so Ic an hear you...and check your calendar on you pda GAA!!! CRASH! IM going to hell.