Productivity Today Comic Strips - Page 42

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

437 Results for Productivity Today

View 411 - 420 results for productivity today comic strips. Discover the best "Productivity Today" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #twitch, #feet, #sleep, #dreaming, #chasing, #cars, #saint, #schedule, #lackey, #pushing, #whiney, #ugly, #people, #catholic, #church

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert watches Dogbert sleeping on the hassock. He thinks, "Why do dogs twitch their feet when they sleep?" Dilbert thinks, "It's so cute. They must be dreaming about chasing cars." In Dogbert's dream, he stands on a throne and says, "Ha ha! I am Saint Dogbert! Line up to kiss my feet, you knaves!" Saint Dogbert asks Dilbert, "What's on my schedule today, lackey?" Dilbert looks at the schedule and says, "You'll be pushing whiney, ugly people into mud at nine." Dilbert continues, "Then, you'll tease cats about their grooming methods until ten." Dogbert says, "Good, good." Dilbert says, "Then you'll raise taxes, go to lunch, and take the rest of the day off." Dogbert wakes up and thinks, "Reality: what a gyp."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #illegal, #search, #car, #home, #drugs, #ethical, #problemblood, #body, #cafeteria

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "Starting today, the company will begin random drug testing." The Boss continues, "Although it would be illegal to search your car or home for illegal drugs . . ." The Boss concludes, "We have found no ethical problem with sucking the blood out of your body. Results will be posted in the cafeteria."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #pink, #slip, #color, #bad, #today, #rob

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "My boss gave me the pink slip today." Dogbert says, "You must feel pretty bad." Dilbert walks away wearing a woman's slip. He says, "Yeah . . . Pink isn't my color."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #japan, #favoite, #animals, #remember, #calisthenics, #shark

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Wally and Dilbert carrying costumes. The Boss says, "On my recent business trip to Japan, I learned that Japanese workers dress as their favorite animals to boost productivity." Wally wears a beaver costume and Dilbert wears a dolphin costume. In Japan, a group of workers laugh as one man says, "Ooh-ooh . . . And remember the time we told them we all do calisthenics?!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #annual, #review, #accomplishment, #invention, #automatic, #dentures, #long, #pause, #asleep

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed watching. Dilbert says, "My boss is giving me my annual review today." Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss reads and document and says, "Your biggest accomplishment was the invention of automatic dentures?" Dilbert replies, "They can eat while you're asleep." Dilbert thinks, "This long pause could mean anything."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #mildew, #flamethrower, #punk, #punk rock

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I hired a cleaning person to come in once a week." Dilbert continues, "Starting today." The doorbell rings. A man with a mohawk haircut and an eyepatch stands in the doorway. Dilbert says, "Hi . . . Uh . . . Leave the flame-thrower outside." The man replies, "Fine. Let's just surrender to the mildew . . ."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #pile, #mail, #resident, #ahh, #therefore, #mailbox, #existence, #existential

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert takes the mail out of the mailbox and thinks, "Ooh! Nice pile of mail today!" Dilbert looks through the mail and thinks, "Resident . . . Resident . . . Resident . . . Ahh, Dilbert." Dilbert thinks, "I get mail; therefore I am."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 1990's comic on:


Tags #groan, #opressive, #day, #toil, #saturday, #planet, #earth, #happiest, #sleep, #late

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits up in bed, groans and thinks, "It's 6 a.m. and time for another oppressive day of meaningless toil . . ." Dilbert thinks, "Wait . . . Today is Saturday . . ." Dilbert lies back down and thinks, "I am the happiest man on the planet earth."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #world, #pinecone, #fresh, #lemon, #scent, #planet, #Dogbert, #warm, #lightning

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "For years Mother Nature had been dropping hints about the ozone problem." The earth and the moon are shown from a distance. Dilbert sprays an aerosol can of air freshener and says, "Aaah . . . Pinecone fresh lemon scent." A flash of lightning enters through the ceiling and shocks Dilbert. The caption says, "The direct approach would work no better." Dilbert's clothes are burned and clouds of smoke rise from his body. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Is it unseasonably warm today?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #timid, #person, #furniture, #proud, #shut in, #Dogbert, #forever

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert thinks, "I'm feeling timid today . . . I felt timid yesterday too . . ." Dilbert thinks, "Holy cheese! I may be a timid person." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've decided to build a blanket fort with the living room furniture and live in it forever." Dogbert replies, "I'm so proud of you."