Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 42
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1000 Results for Avoid Work
View 411 - 420 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday January 03,
2013
Tags dress cassually, drive innovation, flex hours, frustration, optimism, start up culture, valued work
Transcript
Boss: We need to foster more of a start-up culture to drive innovation. Dilbert: So we get to dress casually, work flex hours, feel that our work is valued, and get equity in the company. Boss: What would be the name of a culture where people work hard but don't get any of those things you just mentioned.
Sunday December 30,
2012
Tags delusional sociopath, executives, gardener, goat writing autobiograohy, hallucinations, hard work, intuition, magical thinking, non-fiction, vision, regrets
Transcript
Dogbert: I finished ghostwriting your autobiography. CEO: "I was ridiculously lucky. The End." I was hoping you'd include something about all of my hard work. Dogbert: You didn't work any harder than your gardener, and he lives in his truck. CEO: What about my vision and intuition? Dogbert: My first draft had a chapter on your hallucinations and magical thinking. But I covered that ground with the title: "I'm A Delusional Sociopath And You Can Too." CEO: I'm starting to regret paying you in advance.
Sunday January 06,
2013
Tags complaining, team members, work, motivation, make waves
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't get one of my team members to do any work. I'm hoping you can talk to his boss. Boss: I don't want to make waves. Dilbert: It's your job to make waves! They pay you to make waves, you worthless pile of stupidity! Oops. Wally: I heard you made waves. How'd that work out? Dilbert: Surprisingly bad.
Monday February 18,
2013
Tags laziness, sense of urgency, energy, pretend to work, fake urgency, vague goals, health
Transcript
Boss: We need to have a sense of urgency. Wally: I use most of my energy pretending to work, but I can add a layer of fake urgency if you really need it. Boss: What? Wally: I gotta go! I have vague goals to achieve!
Sunday March 24,
2013
Tags happiness, work ethic, workplace happiness, direct deposit, mental distance, effort, paycheck, no clear goal, doing good work, job satisafaction, stress related problems, highly demotivated, psychology
Transcript
Asok: Wally, what is the key to workplace happiness? Wally: Well, Asok, it all starts with direct deposit. You want to keep some mental distance between your effort and your paycheck. Next, you want to work on projects that have no clear goals or deadlines. Coworker: Hey, Wally, can you... Wally: No, I'm too busy doing various things. Asok: What about the satisfaction of doing good work? Wally: Job satisfaction is what people feel right before they die from stress-related problems. Asok: I feel highly demotivated right now. Wally: You are very welcome.
Thursday March 14,
2013
Tags frustration, office workers, meaningful work, gone for a week, labor camp
Transcript
Dilbert: I got kicked out of a North Elbonian labor camp for working too hard. It was the first time I had ever experienced meaningful work and I got carried away. Boss: And your name is...? Dilbert: Seriously? I was gone for one week!
Saturday March 30,
2013
Tags road map, strengthen core, real work, manage, waste inspiration
Transcript
The Boss: we need to follow our startegy road map and strengthen our core to become the provider of choice. Dilbert: Do you mind if I go do some real work whole you stay here and mange your brains out? Dilbert: I don't want to waste all of you inspiration you just gave me. Alice: snort.
Tuesday January 01,
2008
Tags day at work, garbage pickup, holiday, interrupted, victory, tainted
Transcript
Dilbert: I had a great day at work. For come reason, no one interrupted me, so I got a lot done. Garbage man: Today is a holiday." Dilbert: All of my victories are tainted."
Wednesday January 02,
2008
Tags day off, empty office, holiday, loser, new years day, work, worked
Transcript
Tina: What did you do for New Year's Day? Dilbert: I forgot it was a holiday and came to work for ten hours." Tina: That's sort of loserish. Dilbert: Thanks for labeling it.
Saturday February 09,
2008
Tags competition, mocking, salvage joy, work, five year plan
Transcript
Dilbert: Our competitors just made new five-year plan moot. While we were strategizing, they were doing something I believe they call 'work. On the plus side, I managed to salvage some joy by mocking you. The Boss: Whatever you're doing stop it."


