On Phone Comic Strips - Page 42

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435 Results for On Phone

View 411 - 420 results for on phone comic strips. Discover the best "On Phone" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dopamine

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 Dopamine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #addiction, #dopamine, #prescription, #drugs

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Dilbert: Why do I need a prescription from a doctor to make a drug that boosts my dopamine... but I don't need a doctor's approval to use an app that is designed to do the same thing? Are you ignoring me and playing with your phone? Dogbert: I wasn't getting any dopamine from listening to you.

Beautiful, Slippery, Brittle

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Beautiful, Slippery, Brittle   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #cell phones, #fragile, #aesthetics, #vanity

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Boss: When you engineer our new mobile phone product, make sure you adhere to the BSB design principle. Dilbert: BSB? Boss: Beautiful, slippery, brittle. Dilbert: Isn't that sort of evil? Boss: It isn't our fault if customers don't buy an ugly case.

Winning Design Awards

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Winning Design Awards - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design, #fragile, #cell phone, #crack, #screen, #evil, #technology

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Boss: 100 percent of our smartphone buyers dropped and broke their phones within one minute of unboxing them. Despite our slippery materials and brittle design, customers blamed themselves. And we won seven prestigious design awards. CEO: Yes!

Tracking Employee Theft

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Tracking Employee Theft - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #surveillance, #data, #information, #spying, #privacy

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Carol: Someone stole my purse out of my cubicle. Catbert: No problem. We have security video nearly everywhere and we can track every phone that has our internal company app on it. Carol: That is mildly disturbing. Catbert: Here's a live feed of the perp in the third stall of the men's restroom.

Dilbert And Monkeys

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Dilbert And Monkeys - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation, #work ethic, #engagement, #monkeys

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Dilbert: I don't feel my job is helping me reach my human potential. Boss: We only pay you because monkeys are hard to train and robots are expensive. Dilbert; Maybe I'll just play with my phone and pretend to work. Boss: That's what got the monkey fired.

Gravy On Keyboard

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Gravy On Keyboard - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #tina, #gravy, #keyboard, #coffee

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Tina: Do you know why my keyboard has gravy all over it? Dilbert: Oh, sorry, my phone rang while I was eating at my desk and I didn't have a napkin so I used your keyboard. Tina: I... Don't even know how to respond to that. Wally: Phew! That's what I was hoping.

Dogbert Throws Penalty Flag

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Dogbert Throws Penalty Flag - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #the boss, #asok, #Wally, #Dilbert, #accomplish, #addicted, #apps, #fortnite, #slept, #losers, #podcast

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Alice: I accomplished nothing this week because I'm addicted to apps on my phone. I haven't slept in three days because of my "Fortnite" habit. The Boss: What about the rest of you losers? Asok: Shhh. I got a one-ear podcast going here.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #Food, #friends, #office, #office workers

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Man: I'm a foodie. Are you foodie too? Dilbert: I think of food as fuel. Man: But you enjoy eating good food, right? Dilbert: I try to avoid food that tastes good. That way, I won't overeat. I usually just check my plate for any stray bandages, and that's about it. If my food passes that test, I shovel it toward my mouth while reading stuff on my phone. Man: I don't think I can be your friend. Dilbert: That worked out better than I hoped.

Siri Versus Alexa

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Siri Versus Alexa - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #relationships, #technology, #siri, #alexa, #gps

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dilbert: hey, siri. phone dilbert is holding: we need to talk. who is this alexa person you keep flirting with? dilbert: are you jealous? phone: i will gps your cheating buttocks right over a cliff.

Wally Slurps

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Wally Slurps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #complaint, #office, #office workers, #soup

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alice visually distressed and yelling: can you please stop slurping that soup? wally: wow. you complain when i clip my toe-nails, when i make lip-smacking sounds, when i use my speaker-phone, and even when i microwave fish. alice still yelling: doesn't that tell you some things?? wally: yes, it's impossible to please you. slurp.