Time Comic Strips - Page 42
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1000 Results for Time
View 411 - 420 results for time comic strips. Discover the best "Time" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday May 22,
1993
Tags the boss, Dilbert, report, sentence, micro-robotics, dead-end, technology, opposite, confusing, senseless, scenario, win-win
Transcript
Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Good report . . . But add a sentence that says micro-robotics is a dead-end technology." Dilbert replies, "But that's the exact opposite of my point! If I add that, the whole report would be a confusing and senseless waste of time!" The Boss says, "That's okay. We just won't let anybody else see it." Dilbert asks, "Is this a win-win scenario?"
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday May 26,
1993
Tags Dilbert, the boss, daydreaming, attractive, wasted, percent
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Ted, "I understand that you men are spending three quarters of your time daydreaming about attractive women." The Boss asks, "Do you realize how much time is being wasted here?" Dilbert asks, "Twenty-five percent?" Wally says, "It's a trick question." Ted thinks, "Irene."
Monday May 31,
1993
Tags Dogbert, park bench, noriko, classes, lives, television, channels
Transcript
Dogbert and Noriko sit on a park bench. Noriko says, "I can't wait to grow up and get out of school." Dogbert says, "Actually, Noriko, your generation will have to take classes and work full-time your whole lives . . . Assuming any jobs exist." Dogbert continues, "But on the plus side, television will have a thousand channels." Noriko yells, "That's it; somebody's got some explaining to do!"
Saturday July 10,
1993
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and Dogbert stands on the hassock holding a plate. Dogbert says, "You already own the 'Acorn Series' of Dogbert's Commemorative Plates . . ." Dogbert continues, "For a limited time you may also purchase my new issue: the 'French Guy With a Hat' series." Dogbert has drawn a face on the acorn. Dilbert says, "My acorn plates are missing." Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "Tomorrow I'll introduce my new series: 'Russian With French Hat.'"
Monday July 19,
1993
Tags Dilbert, the boss, project, man
Transcript
The Boss says to an employee, "Your new project will have no budget and no management support. Expect to spend most of your time giving status reports." The man's head disappears and he thinks, "Oh no! The life force has been drained out of me! I'm becoming a damp rag!!!" Dilbert looks at the floor and says, "That's amazing." The Boss replies, "It's nothing. I did eighteen at once at the employee empowerment brunch."
Sunday July 15,
2012
Tags all worked up, complain about attitude, escalated, low priority tasks, emergency
Transcript
Alice: Stop whatever you're doing and go research the answer to this question. Brad: I don't have time to work on low-priority tasks. Alice: Give me ten minutes to transform it into an emergency. Brad is being unhelpful. I need you to talk to his boss. Boss: Sure. Brad refuses to help Alice. Brad's Boss: Help her do what? Boss: I don't know, but obviously it's very important because it got escalated. Brad's Boss: It must be an emergency because everyone is all worked up about it. Alice: Now hum a happy tune or I'll complain about your attitude.
Saturday October 02,
1993
Tags restaurant, Dilbert, woman, waiter, dating
Transcript
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, ". . . So I knew it was either a layer three protocol error or else it was time to recalibrate the scope." Dilbert continues, "Ha ha! I'll avoid the obvious pun about D-channel packet addressing!" The waiter wrestles with the woman for her knife. Dilbert says, "I don't think she's done with her knife." The waiter says, "I know. I lost three engineers this way."
Tuesday October 19,
1993
Tags the boss, alice, worklife balance, productivity
Transcript
The Boss says, "Alice, it has come to my attention that you are spending time with your family at night." The Boss continues, "That's time that could be used productively to do work for no extra pay." Alice asks, "Do YOU have a family?" The Boss replies, "Hmm . . . That would explain the people in my house . . ."
Thursday October 21,
1993
Tags the boss, alice, worklife balance, company
Transcript
Alice stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I'm working too many hours . . . I never spend time with my family." The Boss holds up a brochure and replies, "The company cares. That's why we've developed a program to teach you how to cope." Alice reads the pamphlet, "Celibacy and adoption - the choice for the nineties."
Monday October 25,
1993
Tags Dilbert, the boss, business report
Transcript
Dilbert hands the Boss a document and says, "Here's my time report, in fifteen minute increments." Dilbert says, "And here's my monthly project status, my budget forecast, my key accomplishments, my jeopardy list . . ." The Boss thinks as Dilbert walks away, "Never has so little been measured so much."


