Ceo Comic Strips - Page 42
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Character
627 Results for Ceo
View 411 - 420 results for CEO comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday September 17,
2014
Tags executives, good leader, willing, disliked, great leader, litening, expectations, very unliked
Transcript
CEO: A good leader has to be willing to be disliked. Dilbert: You must be a great leader. CEO: What do you mean by that? Dilbert: Sorry. I didn't expect you to be listening to me.
Thursday September 18,
2014
Tags emotional manipulation, executives, financial gain, leader, leaders, less unlikable, lonely job, manipulation, obliviousness, popularity
Transcript
CEO: Being a leader is a lonely job. Dilbert: Try being less of a #!@*. Then people might want to spend time with you. CEO: I don't see how that could work. Dilbert: Can we get back to manipulating my emotions for financial gain?
Wednesday September 24,
2014
Zig Zag
Tags executives, insubordination, leadership, zigzag, insanity, fired
Transcript
CEO: The secret to being a great leader is to zig when others zag. Dilbert: Coincidentally, that is the same strategy used by the insane. CEO: I should fire you for your insubordination. Dilbert: Or you could zig.
Tuesday November 04,
2014
Tags blame, ceos, cnbc, executives, home address, layoffs, new prodcuts, product, quarterly, zero
Transcript
CEO: Our sales for the quarter are zero. Because I might have mentioned on CNBC that we have a better, cheaper model coming soon. So... great job on the new product... and I need to fire half of you so it looks as if I do things. Voice: What is your home address?
Wednesday November 05,
2014
Tags ceos, leadership, obliviousness, public speaking, media, zero sales, staff resigned, fireing, wisdom, Entertainment
Transcript
Catbert: Our sales dropped to zero because you told the media we have a better product coming soon. And 95% of the staff resigned because you announced plans to fire 50% of them. Maybe it would be better if you never spoke to anyone again. CEO: How would people get my wisdom.
Thursday November 06,
2014
Tags buy things, deception, evil, evil tool, images, lab notes, marketing, obliviousness, presentation, screen, unique sequence, business
Transcript
Dilbert: I discovered a unique sequence of sights and sounds that makes people buy things they don't need. I recommend that we destroy all of my lab notes and rid the world of this evil tool. CEO: You never told him what marketing is? Boss: He didn't need to know.
Sunday November 09,
2014
Tags capitalism, cruelty, executives, industry & manufacturing, manufacturing, meat, announcements, artificial meat prodcut, automated robots, senior management, manufacturing employees, engineering
Transcript
CEO: The company has two exciting announcements. We are launching a new artificial meat product. In unrelated news, our manufacturing plant is now fully automated by robots. Wow. It got quiet in here. Dilbert: I don't want to say we have no trust in senior management, but... did you order the robots to kill all of the manufacturing employees and turn them into a meat product? CEO: Before I answer that, can we agree that capitalism has some rough edges?
Monday November 10,
2014
Work Harder Than The Competition
Tags competitors, executives, helicopter, hypocrisy, hypocrite, rich people, super yacht, work ethic, work harder
Transcript
CEO: We can only succeed if we work harder than our competitors! Oops, gotta go. My helicopter is here to take me to my massage appointment on my superyacht. Stop staring at me. I only have to work harder than other CEOs.
Friday November 14,
2014
Hiring A Co Ceo
Tags ceos, executives, wages, work ethic, co ceo, break tie, manioulate, pay, hire, split salary, money
Transcript
CEO: I decided to hire a co-CEO to share the job with me. Dilbert: I assume you know that having a co-CEO does not mean you get paid the same while working half as much. CEO: Can I fire you? Co-CEO: No, we need a third CEO to break the tie.
Saturday November 15,
2014
Dogbert The Third Ceo
Tags business tactics, ceos, executives, co ceo, third ceo, tiebreaker, fired, disagreement, new guy
Transcript
CEO: I hired a co-CEO, but it isn't working because we disagree on everything. We want to hire you as our third CEO so we always have a tiebreaker. Dogbert: I accept. The new guy and I have decided to fire you and split the CEO spot two ways.

