Billion Dollar Idea Comic Strips - Page 42

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431 Results for Billion Dollar Idea

View 411 - 420 results for billion dollar idea comic strips. Discover the best "Billion Dollar Idea" comics from Dilbert.com.

Great Idea

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Great Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, idea, office workers, sarcasm, trick, truth, evidence

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Boss: I have a great idea. Let's create a google document that we can all update. Dilbert: That is exactly the idea I suggested to you yesterday. Boss: You can't prove that. Dilbert: That was only true until I learned to wear a wire.

How To Identify Good Ideas

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How To Identify Good Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, decision making, smart, people, idiot, agree, disagree, good, bad, idea, rational

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dilbert: i can't tell the difference between good ideas and bad ones. there are smart people on both sides of every idea. what rational process do you use to determine who is right? wally: i label people who disagree with me "idiots" and call it a day.

Credit Goes To Boss

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Credit Goes To Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, business, culture, idea, managers & supervisors, ownership, report, technology

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boss: i realize this report has dilbert's name on it, but the credit goes to me. because i ordered him to do it. dilbert: actually, i came up with the idea and wrote it on my own time. boss: well, i created the culture that made it all possible. dilbert yelling: i did the work!!!

Wally Makes A Suggestion

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Wally Makes A Suggestion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, product idea, idea, debunk

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wally: did you see my brilliant product idea i emailed to you? boss: yes, i already debunked it in my mind. wally: perhaps you could share your reasons. boss: if it's such a great idea. why isn't someone else doing it? and if someone is already doing it, we are far too late. in order for your idea to be good, i would have to think you are smarter than everyone in the industry. and seriously, just look at you. anyone else have an idea? others: nope. nope, never. nope.

Audit Blackmail

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Audit Blackmail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, business, audit, software, blackmail, free, network, money, dollars

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dogbert: my audit of your company has uncovered a number of software vulnerabilities. for example, a blackmailer could take control of your network and make you pay a billion dollars to get it back. ceo: good work. what do we owe you? dogbert: the audit is free. i only did it to find ways to blackmail you.

Recurring Charges

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Recurring Charges - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, cancel, online, charges, information, automated phone system, contact, website, microphone

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dilbert at home: i'm going to try to cancel some recurring online charges today. wish me luck. dogbert: what resistance are you expecting? dilbert: obviously, they hide their contact information, so i allocated two hours to find the right phone number. it should take about an hour to navigate their automated phone system that will keep sending me to the wrong place. if i reach a human, he'll try to divert me to their website to cancel, which i already know won't work because... ...i won't be able to find my account in their system for reasons no one will ever be able to explain. and of course, their phone support person will be using a headset microphone that garbles his already mumbled words. dogbert: but if you stick with it, you will eventually succeed? dilbert: i don't know were you got that idea.

Keyboard Upgrades

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Keyboard Upgrades  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, technology, keyboard, design, keys, better, hard, software, upgrades

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dilbert: i have an idea for a keyboard design that we upgrade every six months by rearranging where the keys are. boss: why would we do that? dilbert: to make it better. boss: that would only make it harder to use. dilbert: exactly like our software upgrades. what's your point?

Understanding Science

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Understanding Science - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, science, scientsts, chipmunk, sarcasm

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tina: i listen to actual scientists, and they say your idea will never work. dilbert: if a chipmunk listens to scientists, should i trust the chipmunk to understand what he heard? tina: i don't get your point. dilbert: and yet you do understand science?

Every Expert Says

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Every Expert Says - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, idea, technology, work, old, new, future, expert, entrepreneurs, worldview

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boss: every expert in the world says your idea can't work. dilbert: experts only know about old ideas. if they knew about future ones, they would be entrepreneurs, not experts. boss: well, my entire worldview just collapsed. dilbert: sorry

I'm A Loseer

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I'm A Loseer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, idea, office workers, ridiculous, problem, loser, Win, Lose, feeling

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colleague: your idea is ridiculous and it will never work! oh, wait... i just realized the real problem here is that i'm a loser who doesn't want anyone else to win. dilbert: that's something you don't see often. colleague: okay, the feeling passed.