Employees Comic Strips - Page 42

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

579 Results for Employees

View 411 - 420 results for employees comic strips. Discover the best "Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, holidays, laziness, trust, work ethic, telecommute, bring kid to work, work from home, distrust, corrodes motivation, toxic environment, ruin naps

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Is it okay if I telecommute on "Bring Your Kid To Work" Day? I'll show my kid how I work from home. Boss: How would I know you were working? Wally: What??!! That is exactly the sort of distrust that corrodes the motivation of employees! How can I feel good about my job in this toxic atmosphere? Boss: Okay, okay. You can work from home on "Bring Your Kid To Work" Day. Dilbert: You don't have a kid. Wally: I hear they ruin your naps.

Wally's Air Bag

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Air Bag - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags air bags, laziness, work ethic, underpants, accidental asignments, system, offcie, work, employees, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I added air bags to my underpants to avoid accidental assignments. Boss: Hey, Wally, I need you to... BAM! Maybe I'll ask someone else. Wally: The system works!

Sounded Interesting From Across The Room

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sounded Interesting From Across The Room - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, smartphone technology, speed evolve, meta organism, sum of parts, looked interetsing, employees, coffee break, cups, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: What are you talking about? It sounds interesting. Dilbert: We were saying that our smartphone technology has caused us to speed-evolve into a meta-organism that is the sum of our connected parts. Tina: In my defense, from across the room it looked interesting.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags arguing, email, expectations, logic, sleep, winning, work ethic, promptly respond, employees, necessary, brain function, succumbs to leadership, dysfunctional moron, confsuion, win converstions, ceo, health, business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: You didn't promptly respond to my email last night. Dilbert: You sent that email at 1 a.m. CEO: I expect my employees to be checking email at all times. Dilbert: Sleep is necessary for normal brain function. Anyone who succumbs to your leadership on this topic will turn into a dysfunctional moron in 48 hours. CEO: I don't see where you're going with this. It's all so confusing to my brain. So tired... can't stay awake... Dilbert: I don't usually win conversations this decisively.

Boss Uses Hickory Wand

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Uses Hickory Wand - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags harry potter, magic, wand, wizard, leadership, hickory branch

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I keep saying leader-ish things, but the employees are still terrible. Catbert: Try using this hickory branch as a wand. Boss: Qualitos improvimentus! Wally: I'll be on the Harry Potter.

Super Pumpedness

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Super Pumpedness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceos, jargon, nausea, super pumpedness, bag, vomit

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The quality we look for in our employees is "super pumpedness." Alice: Blechhhh!!! I told you to bring a bag.

Fierce Employees Wanted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fierce Employees Wanted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, confusion, ferocity, fierce, hiring, interview, job application, job interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're looking for employees who are fierce! Applicant: Should I punch you or something? I don't know how to play this. Boss: Try acting normal, but angrier.

13 Percent Employees Engaged

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
13 Percent Employees Engaged - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employee, employees, engagement, motivation, global survey, engaged at work, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: A global survey says only 13% of employees feel engaged at work. Dilbert: If you're wondering which one of your employees is engaged, it's this guy. Boss: We need ten more just like him. Dilbert: I think I just figured out what's wrong with the rest of us.

Embellishing Resumes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Embellishing Resumes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags resume, lying, deception, accomplishments, management, success

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: I discovered that one of your employees embellished on his resume. Boss: That's outrageous! Fire him for lying to me! Catbert: I'm talking about the version he updated today. It says he accomplished things while working for you. Boss: That doesn't sound right.

Embellishing Resume At Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Embellishing Resume At Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags leadership, self-promotion, embellishment, managers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: One of my employees keeps embellishing his accomplishments. CEO: If he works in engineering, fire him. If he works in marketing, promote him. Boss: He doesn't work at all. CEO: Sounds like you have a leader on your hands.