Employees Comic Strips - Page 42
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579 Results for Employees
View 411 - 420 results for employees comic strips. Discover the best "Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday November 23,
2014
Tags deception, holidays, laziness, trust, work ethic, telecommute, bring kid to work, work from home, distrust, corrodes motivation, toxic environment, ruin naps
Transcript
Wally: Is it okay if I telecommute on "Bring Your Kid To Work" Day? I'll show my kid how I work from home. Boss: How would I know you were working? Wally: What??!! That is exactly the sort of distrust that corrodes the motivation of employees! How can I feel good about my job in this toxic atmosphere? Boss: Okay, okay. You can work from home on "Bring Your Kid To Work" Day. Dilbert: You don't have a kid. Wally: I hear they ruin your naps.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday December 10,
2014
Wally's Air Bag
Tags air bags, laziness, work ethic, underpants, accidental asignments, system, offcie, work, employees, business
Transcript
Wally: I added air bags to my underpants to avoid accidental assignments. Boss: Hey, Wally, I need you to... BAM! Maybe I'll ask someone else. Wally: The system works!
Wednesday December 24,
2014
Sounded Interesting From Across The Room
Tags conversation, smartphone technology, speed evolve, meta organism, sum of parts, looked interetsing, employees, coffee break, cups, business
Transcript
Tina: What are you talking about? It sounds interesting. Dilbert: We were saying that our smartphone technology has caused us to speed-evolve into a meta-organism that is the sum of our connected parts. Tina: In my defense, from across the room it looked interesting.
Sunday December 28,
2014
Tags arguing, email, expectations, logic, sleep, winning, work ethic, promptly respond, employees, necessary, brain function, succumbs to leadership, dysfunctional moron, confsuion, win converstions, ceo, health, business
Transcript
CEO: You didn't promptly respond to my email last night. Dilbert: You sent that email at 1 a.m. CEO: I expect my employees to be checking email at all times. Dilbert: Sleep is necessary for normal brain function. Anyone who succumbs to your leadership on this topic will turn into a dysfunctional moron in 48 hours. CEO: I don't see where you're going with this. It's all so confusing to my brain. So tired... can't stay awake... Dilbert: I don't usually win conversations this decisively.
Thursday January 15,
2015
Boss Uses Hickory Wand
Tags harry potter, magic, wand, wizard, leadership, hickory branch
Transcript
Boss: I keep saying leader-ish things, but the employees are still terrible. Catbert: Try using this hickory branch as a wand. Boss: Qualitos improvimentus! Wally: I'll be on the Harry Potter.
Friday January 16,
2015
Super Pumpedness
Saturday January 17,
2015
Fierce Employees Wanted
Tags anger, confusion, ferocity, fierce, hiring, interview, job application, job interview
Transcript
Boss: We're looking for employees who are fierce! Applicant: Should I punch you or something? I don't know how to play this. Boss: Try acting normal, but angrier.
Friday January 23,
2015
13 Percent Employees Engaged
Tags employee, employees, engagement, motivation, global survey, engaged at work, business
Transcript
Boss: A global survey says only 13% of employees feel engaged at work. Dilbert: If you're wondering which one of your employees is engaged, it's this guy. Boss: We need ten more just like him. Dilbert: I think I just figured out what's wrong with the rest of us.
Saturday April 11,
2015
Embellishing Resumes
Tags resume, lying, deception, accomplishments, management, success
Transcript
Catbert: I discovered that one of your employees embellished on his resume. Boss: That's outrageous! Fire him for lying to me! Catbert: I'm talking about the version he updated today. It says he accomplished things while working for you. Boss: That doesn't sound right.
Monday April 13,
2015
Embellishing Resume At Work
Tags leadership, self-promotion, embellishment, managers
Transcript
Boss: One of my employees keeps embellishing his accomplishments. CEO: If he works in engineering, fire him. If he works in marketing, promote him. Boss: He doesn't work at all. CEO: Sounds like you have a leader on your hands.

