Fifty Year Old Comic Strips - Page 42

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View 411 - 420 results for fifty year old comic strips. Discover the best "Fifty Year Old" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new years, #home, #sitting, #celebrating, #early, #losers, #floor

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Dilbert says, "It's new year's eve. Do you want to stay up until midnight?" Dogbert says, "Only losers wait until midnight. The Dogbert new year begins at 10 PM." Dilbert says, "It's 10 PM now." Dogbert says, "And I like to celebrate by giving myself a hug....mmm...."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #agreeing, #meeting, #calendar, #scheduling, #ignorant, #clueless, #business

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Dilbert says, "We agreed on about fifty things today, but you didn't take any notes." Dilbert says, "Let's schedule our next meeting to rehash all the stuff you'll forget from today." Dilbert says, "DO you have your calendar with you?" Morgan says, "No. Why do you ask?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chain letter, #e-mail, #die, #panic, #friends, #negotiating, #fifty, #superstitious

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The Boss says, "Oh no. If I don't forward this e-mail to fifty friends, I'll die within a week." The Boss says, "I don't have that many friends! I need to make more friends, and fast!!!" Dilbert says, "What are you sending him now?" Wally says, "I'm upping it to sixty friends."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #hire, #consultant, #raise morale, #pointless, #magic, #feel good, #business

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The Boss says, "I hired a consultant to raise your morale by making you glad you're not him." Ratbert says, "No one loves me. My life is pointless. I eat old soap." The Boss says, "Now let the magic begin." Dilbert says, "I feel good about not eating old soap." Ratbert says, "Cha!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ombudsman, #devil, #helen fry, #job, #management, #complaint, #issue, #pitchfork, #business

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The Boss says, "Helen, we're looking for a new ombudsman. Your experience in the afterlife makes you an ideal candidate." Helen says, "I'll take the job. But call me Mrs. Fry." Asok says, "I have an issue with management." The Boss says, "Go to Helen Fry." Yes, I know it's an old joke

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #poltergeist, #copy machine, #promote, #server, #union, #scary, #creepy, #original, #nervous, #business

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The Boss says, "I hired a new poltergeist for our copy machine. Our old one got promoted to the server farm." Dilbert says, "Wouldn't it be better to not have any poltergeists?" The Boss says, "It's a union thing." Tina says, "May I please have my original back?" Poltergeist says, "I can't hear you. Put your face up close."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #invention, #old man's head, #face front, #shoulder, #talk, #creepy, #lightbulb, #edison, #technology

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Dilbert says, "It's a cell phone shaped like an old man's head." Dilbert says, "It sits on your shoulder so you don't look as if you're talking to yourself." Dilbert says, "People probably told Edison that his lightbulb was creepy too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #party, #woman, #date, #hold drink, #invent, #shoulder phone, #old man's head, #soup, #bones, #scary, #arm out, #surprised, #run away, #scared, #Dogbert, #trick, #auto-answer, #kiss

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Dilbert says, "It's a shoulder phone shaped like an old man's head. I invented it myself." Phone says, "Let's make soup from her bones, just like the others!" Dilbert says, "I shouldn't have told Dogbert it has auto-answer." Phone says, "Kiss me! Now!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wdnw system, #wally does no work, #meeting, #acronym, #lazy, #get coffee, #business

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Wally says, "I need to spend the next year optimizing the WDNW system" Boss says, "I've never heard of the WDNW system." Wally says, "You only hear about the systems that have problems." Wally says, "If everything goes as planned, you'll never hear about WDNW again." Boss says, "What does the WDNW system do?" Wally says, "It keeps our zeros and ones from accidentally forming tens." Boss says, "That can happen?" Wally says, "Not on my watch." Dilbert says, "How's the 'Wally Does No Work' project?" Wally says, "The acronym helped."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #preventer of information services, #mordac, #vampire, #grumpy, #crossed arms, #upgrad computer, #useful, #non-standard, #software, #wordsmith, #yell, #point, #engineering

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Mordac, the Preventer of Information Services Tina says, "My software is so old that I can't open any files that people send me." Mordac says, "I can't upgrade your computer because then it will be non-standard." Tina says, "And by non-standard, you mean useful?" Mordac says, "Be gone, wordsmith!"