Lawn Chair In Yard Comic Strips - Page 42

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428 Results for Lawn Chair In Yard

View 411 - 420 results for lawn chair in yard comic strips. Discover the best "Lawn Chair In Yard" comics from Dilbert.com.

Robot Lawyer Writes Gibberish

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Robot Lawyer Writes Gibberish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags chair, conversation, meeting, robot, sue, table, business

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Boss: We replaced our company lawyer with a robot. Boss: It already rewrote all of our contracts into gibberish. Dilbert: Do we want that? Boss: I tried to ask, but it threatened to sue me.

Dilbert Red Pills Asok

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Dilbert Red Pills Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags jargon, language, nonsense, productivity, illusion, alternate reality

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Dilbert: Nothing in this dimension is real. Asok: Double-click on that. Dilbert: The jargon matrix is where people imagine they are being useful. But in reality, they are sitting in a chair doing nothing. Asok: I just made a ten-year technology plan.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags greed, scavenging, cannibal, furniture, energy, vibes, health

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Alice: My chair is broken. I need a new one. Boss: You can take Ted's chair. I fired him this morning. Alice: That feels icky. Boss: It's just a chair. Alice: Ted was a creepy underperformer. I don't want his loser energy on me. Boss: That's your only option unless I fire someone else today. Alice: Okay, give me an hour to do some back-stabbing and rumor-mongering. Boss: I'll just let that situation work itself out. Alice: Nice chair. Dilbert: Why did my fight-or-flight instinct just kick in?

Wally Likes Sitting

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Wally Likes Sitting  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, standing desk, health, sitting, standing

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Boss: The company has authorized the purchase of standing desks for employees who want them. Wally: Literally the only good thing about this job is that I can do it while sitting down. Boss: How did you get to this meeting? Wally: Your chair doesn't have wheels?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags negotiation, demand, haggle, prices, pricing, negotiate

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Boss: Negotiate with your vendor and get the price down. Dilbert: I don't know how to negotiate. I'm an engineer. Boss: It's simple. All you need to do is make an aggressive first demand and settle for less. Dilbert: How aggressive are we talking about here? Boss: The more aggressive the better. Dilbert: That doesn't sound right. Boss: Trust me. More is better. Dilbert: My opening demand is that you name me as a beneficiary on your life insurance police, mow my lawn, and die in traffic on the way home. Boss: You got the price down by 35 percent. Dilbert: I really hoped it wouldn't work.

Ted Dies From Chair

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Ted Dies From Chair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, the boss, ted, treadmill, alice, exercise ball, kneeling chair, ergonomics

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Catbert: Ted got thrown from his treadmill desk, bounced off of alice's exercise ball chair, and broke his neck on a kneeling chair. The cause of death is listed as, "good ergonomics." On the plus side, his posture was excellent.

Dogbert The Meeting Referee

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Dogbert The Meeting Referee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dogbert, Dilbert, story, time-wasting, red card, Wally, refree

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Dogbert, the meeting referee. The Boss: That reminds me of a story. Dogbert: Tweet! Fifteen-yard penalty for a time-wasting story! The Boss: I''ll make it quick. Dogbert: Red card!

Dilbert Needs A New Chair

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Dilbert Needs A New Chair  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, chair, complaining, criticism, irritation, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, sarcasm

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Dilbert: I need a more ergonomic office chair. Boss: Let me check the budget. Hmm...nope. We don't have a budget for making whiny employees happy. Dilbert: My current chair hurts my back. Boss: It's no picnic for the chair either.

Doomed Humanity To Annihilation

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Doomed Humanity To Annihilation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags aliens, attack, boss, communication, managers & supervisors, mistake, office workers, technology, laser, nasa

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Boss: The laser communication prototype you built for NASA accidentally vaporized the alien ship heading our way. If it got off a message to its home planet, your stupidity has doomed humanity to annihilation. Also, you didn't complete your mandatory training in chair safety.

Documents On Chairs

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Documents On Chairs  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags frustrated, office, office workers, paper

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Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate it when people leave documents on my chair! I will have my revenge by sticking this at the bottom of my biggest pile. Winning.