Waste Time Comic Strips - Page 42
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1000 Results for Waste Time
View 411 - 420 results for waste time comic strips. Discover the best "Waste Time" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 27,
2000
Tags replaced computers, training class, ignored requests, sit unused, slow way, computer manual, no time, class, coat, invest, plan future
Transcript
Girl: So they replaced our computers and never trained us. I told them we needed a training class but they ignored my requests. So our computers sit there unused while we do our work the slow way. Dilbert: why don't you real the computer manual? Girl: I don't have time for that! Dilbert: But you have time for a class? It doesn't add up. Girl: Im cold. Dilbert: You should try wearing a coat. they're terrific.
Saturday September 02,
2000
Tags kicking me, least valuables, manager, most valuable emplyees, turnover, increase turnover
Transcript
The Boss says to the staff, "As a manager, it's my job to reduce the turnover of our most valuable employees..." The Boss continues, "...and to increase turnover of our least valuable employees." Wally screams, "Ow! For the jillionth time, who keeps kicking me?!"
Thursday September 21,
2000
Tags current version, making changes, slap forehead, test software, major changes
Transcript
The Boss asks Dilbert, "Can you test the software today?" Dilbert answers, "No. I'm making major changes Tuesday." The Boss replies, "You could test the current version." Dilbert slaps his forehead exasperated at the Boss' response. The Boss looks at Dilbert and says to himself, "I wish people wouldn't slap their foreheads and say 'Aye-yi-yi-yi' every time I talk."
Friday October 20,
2000
Tags kiss daughter goodnight, working too hard
Transcript
A man is standing in front of the boss. The man says, "You're working me too hard! I want to get home in time to kiss my daughter goodnight!" The man continues, "And I'm not the only one who feels this way." The boss says, "I've seen your daughter and I'm fairly certain you're the only one."
Wednesday October 25,
2000
Tags you're fired, used internet, personal reasons, groceries, more time working, evil but true
Transcript
Catbert, sitting at his desk, says to an employee, "Our records show that you used the internet for personal reasons. You're fired." The employee says, "Please, I merely ordered groceries online so that I might have more time for working." Catbert says, "My motto is, you can't spell 'who cares?' without H.R." The employee says, "It's evil, but it's true."
Tuesday October 31,
2000
Tags 30 day dance of death, new job within, spray paint
Transcript
Catbert, standing on a table, says to Ted, "Ted, your thirty-day dance of death begins today." Shaking a bottle of spray-paint, Catbert says, "You must find a new job within the company during that time." As Catbert spray-paints the letter 'L' on Ted's chest, Ted says, "Is the spray-paint absolutely necessary?" Catbert says, "That's an 'L'."
Sunday December 03,
2000
Tags flex time, 5 hours in morning, break for then hrs, 5 hours later, filthy cubicle, downside, plan, staff meeting, cherish, clever schemes, sarcasm
Transcript
Wally says to The Boss, "I'd like to work flex time." Wally says, "I'll work for five hours before anyone else gets to the office..." Wally says to The Boss, "Then I'll take a break for ten hours..." Wally says, "Then I'll work five more hours after the witnesses... er... co-workers go home." Wally says, "You'll know I'm working hard because my cubicle will be filthy." Wally says, "But I have to be perfectly honest: There's a down side to this plan." Wally says to The Boss, "I would miss your staff meetings that I cherish so much." Wally says to Dilbert, "I'm having trouble keeping my clever schemes separate from my sarcasm."
Monday December 04,
2000
Tags away from job, blah blah, cell phones, jurors, jury duty, jury room, read book, talking
Transcript
Dilbert: AAHH, One week away from my job. Jury room Dilbert: I'll have hours of quiet time to read my new book, woman: There's a guy here with a book.
Sunday December 10,
2000
Tags doing it wrong, response time, sub second, two seconds, always right, never wrong, screaming
Transcript
Noriko says to Dilbert, "And we'll have sub-second response time. Dilbert says to Noriko, "Actually, it's already two seconds, and your change will add two more." Noriko exclaims to Dilbert, "Why do you always have to be right?!" Noriko says to Dilbert, "Just once can't you admit I'm right?" Dilbert says, "Okay, I admit that two plus two equals less than one." Noriko says, "I don't mean now, jerk. I mean in general." Dilbert says, "Okay. In general I admit that the rules of physics are optional." Noriko exclaims, "You're doing it wrong!!" Dilbert says, "You're right. My fault again."
Friday December 15,
2000
Tags cross charge time, attended meeting, drunken moneky, refund, money back, unfair preactices
Transcript
Dilbert says to a co-worker, "Why did you cross-charge your time to my budget?" The co-worker says, "I attended your meeting." Dilbert says to the co-worker, "All you did was sit there like a drunken monkey. I want a refund." The co-worker says, "Talk to my boss." Dilbert says to the woman who is his co-worker's boss, "... So it doesn't seem fair." The woman looks at her watch and says, "Ka-ching!"


