Company Comic Strips - Page 42
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Character
879 Results for Company
View 411 - 420 results for company comic strips. Discover the best "Company" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday August 06,
2005
Tags comapny, sells defective prodcuts, karma, bed doodle, wandered, bad things, they deserve it
Transcript
Dilbert: "Sometimes I feel guilty because my company sells defective products." DOgbert: "I believe in karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day and I assume they deserve it." Dilbert: "By the way, where are we?" Dogbert: "I think we wandered into a bad doodle."
Monday July 25,
2005
Tags 20 % staff, failing perfromance, required, muscles, money hurlage, metting, denounce employees, criticize
Transcript
"The company requires me to give failing performance reviews to 20% of my staff." "There are four of you, so that works out to...80% of a person." "Wally, your calf muscles and ankles are performing well, but the rest of you is monkey hurlage."
Wednesday July 20,
2005
Tags must bride, elbonians, nuclear weapon, microwave instead, persian rugs
Transcript
Dilbert: The Elbonians won't do business with my company unless we bribe them. Dogbert: offer to give them plans for building a nuclear weapon, Then give them plans to build microwave ovens instead. Dilbert: would that work? Dogbert: why do you think our garage is full of persona rugs?
Wednesday July 06,
2005
Tags company lawyer, contract, reasonable man, interpretation, squash, bug
Transcript
"Company Lawyer." "This contract would be subject to a 'reasonable man' interpretation." "Where is this guy? I'll squash him like a bug!" "Okay, moving on..." "It's you! I knew it!"
Tuesday June 21,
2005
Tags fearless adventurer, chief financial iofficer, bungee cord
Transcript
It's good P.R. for the company when the CEO is a fearless adventurer. "Sounds dangerous." "Don't worry. I've asked chief financial officeer to be in charge of safety." "Okay who estimated the length of the bungee cord?"
Friday June 17,
2005
Tags batch of tiger meat, project, chanllenging, delight stockholders, not challenging, less motivated
Transcript
"I"m ready for a new batch of tiger meat. Grrr!" "I want a project that will challenge my abilities, bring glory to the company and delight our shareholders!" "How about this one?" "Nope. Not challenging enough. I'll give it to one of the less motivated employees."
Sunday May 22,
2005
Tags personal items, can't be higher, cucblicl wall, aesthetic reasons, doll, einstein doll, try this concept, stock plunge
Transcript
"Alice, company policy says that personal items can not be higher than the cubicle wall." "Just out of curiousity, what is the logic behind that bizarre policy?" "We want to maintain a smooth line-of-sight for aesthetic reasons." "Let me see if I understand your point of view." "My Einstein doll makes the cubicle so hideous that our stock will plunge" "Now if I take it down..." "Gasp! It's so beautiful now! My soul is filled with music! My life has meaning!" "Yea! I just noticed that when I look at this doll and you at the same time, you look hideous."
Sunday May 08,
2005
Tags audit, 150 million, software system, scrap entire thing, worthless, norma software system, clever combo, tweak it, sell the zeros, few minutes
Transcript
Dogbert: "I completed the audit of your new $150 million software system." "I recommend that you scrap the entire thing." "What?!! How could the entire thing be worthless?" "Well, your normal software system would be a clever combination of ones and zeros." "Yours is all ones." "There must be some way to tweak it until it works." "My company can sell you all the zeros you need. But you'll have to arrange them yorself." "Whe you have a few minutes, I have a little assignment for you."
Tuesday April 26,
2005
Tags rated good, you're not good, company policy, fire anyone, hiring freeze, get paid
Transcript
The Boss: "Wally, I'm rating you "good" but not because you are." "Company policy says I have to fire anyone rated lower than good, and the hiring freeze means it would shrink my empire." "So you can get paid for doing nothing as long as you don't kill anyone." wally: "I can't promise that."
Thursday April 14,
2005
Tags brand, company name, finding a team, reputation, new stadium
Transcript
Our marketing plan was to find a sports stadium to brand with our company's name. "The hard part was finding a team so jiuced up that our reputation seemed good in comparison." "How do you feel about the new stadium name?" "Rage. Same as always."

