Great Products Comic Strips - Page 42
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497 Results for Great Products
View 411 - 420 results for great products comic strips. Discover the best "Great Products" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday September 19,
1994
Tags big tech show, curly haired guys, salmon, spawning opportunites, vast sea, indistinct products, trade show, facial hair
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm going to the big technology show. Dogbert: what do you do there? Dilbert: I will wade though vast sea of mostly curly haired guys with facials hair and glasses and I will look at thousands of indistinct products, Dilbert: Its like salmon returning to it birthplace. Dogbert: But without the spawning opportunities,
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday September 09,
1994
Tags complicated, create chart, decision process, plan, question, talking about chart, wasting money
Transcript
"This chart shows the decision process we're using for my project." "Here we're wasting money. Then someone said, 'hey, let's create a complicated chart.' Now we're at this meeting, talking about the chart." "I have a question." "Great...there goes the plan."
Monday August 15,
1994
Tags management fast tracker, deliver big report, ceo, fax, shredder, tricked, punked, contempt
Transcript
"Hey, Matt. How's our favorite management fast-tracker?" "Great! I've got two minutes to deliver my big report to our CEO. Can you tell me where the fax is?" "Oops, I'm wrong. That's the shredder." "He'll go far in this company." "Bzzzzp."
Monday July 18,
1994
Tags great solutions, bicycle seats, dorky pants, bicycle pants
Transcript
GREAT SOLUTIONS IN ENGINEERING Problem: Bicycle seats are hard. They Hurt. Analysis: there must be something work with your pants, Dogbert: Solution: dorky pants.
Tuesday June 28,
1994
Tags book publishing, reject authors, untalented dolts, publish something, conventional wisdom
Transcript
"How's the book publishing business coming along?" "Great!" "I get to reject dozens of authors every day! I call them untalented dolts and they THANK me for it." "Eventually, you have to actually publish something." "Yeah, well, that's the conventional wisdom."
Tuesday June 07,
1994
Tags video conference, desktop, telecommuting, level of professionalism, share document, next time
Transcript
"This desktop video conference thing is great!" "Even though you're telecommuting, you still maintain a level of professionalism." "Let's share a document next time."
Saturday April 30,
1994
Tags senior executive, bad deciosn, end careers, challenging, decison, great idea, mixed signals, pull neckties, hurts
Transcript
"If we know our senior executive is making a bad decision, shouldn't we tell her?" "Hmm, yes. Let's end our careers by challenging a decision that won't change. That's a great idea." "I'm getting mixed signals here." "And let's pull our neckties until it hurts!"
Monday March 28,
1994
Tags commercial prodcuts, secret, evoultion, zimbu the monkey
Transcript
Wally: Zimbu the monkey designed three commercial products this week! we'd better find out his secret. wally: He's using his tail! He has a natural advantage! Wally: I feel the jaws of evolution on my throat. Dilbert: good gravy! Did you see him cut and paste?
Sunday March 27,
1994
Tags teller, automated, machine, menus, chinese language option
Transcript
Dilbert: Im getting performance anxiety at the automated teller machine. I feel the impatient glare of the stranger behind me. I try to prove competent by speeding through the menus. Good Lord, I hit the mandarin chinese language option. Oh no! I think I transferred my life savings to the "United way" Great...now his truck eyeballs are stuck to the back of my neck. This is exactly why I hate going to the automated teller. Dogbert: I think a little "visine" would make him slide right off. Dilbert: There was a time I could afford that...
Tuesday March 08,
1994
Tags budget analyst, budget cuts, intelligent choices, understand enginering, strategy
Transcript
The Boss: Susan, I want you to make some budget cuts throughout my department. Susan: But Im only the budget analyst. I couldn't understand all the engineering projects enough to make intelligent choices. The Boss: Really? Great! I thought it was just me! Susan: Shall I whomp up a strategy while Im at it?