Loyal Employees Comic Strips - Page 42

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View 411 - 420 results for loyal employees comic strips. Discover the best "Loyal Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #designing call center, #eployees, #bathroom breaks, #tiny cubicles, #monitor calls, #speed, #customer service

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Designing a Call Center Catbert: Give the employees six minutes of bathroom breaks per shift. The Boss: Tiny cubicles and we'll monitor calls and have incompatible objectives such as speed and customer service. = Wally: Hows the project going? Dilbert: Im still collecting the abuser requirements.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #call center, #inhumane conditions, #employees, #guilty, #acting under orders, #demonize, #business

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Dilbert: Ive been ordered to build a company call center with inhumane working conditions for the employees. ut I don't feel guilty because Im only acting under orders and maybe they did something to deserve it. I might need your help to demonize them. Dogbert: Im all over it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #call center, #customer questions, #working conditions, #inhumane, #innocent employees

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The Boss: Your project is to build a call center to handle customer questions. Keep the costs downy making the working conditions inhumane. Dilbert: My conscience won't allow me to harm innocent employees. The Boss: we won't be paying enough ti hire any innocent employees.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vacation days, #raise, #e, #ployees, #change vacation days, #permission, #more empowered

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Alice is standing in front of the Bosses desk, the Boss says, "I can't give you a raise because you came to work on one of your vacation days." The Boss says, "Employees are not allowed to change vacation days without permission." The Boss says, "On an unrelated note, try to be more empowered."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #scrap paper, #employees, #put in hat, #makes comforatble, #business

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "Write on a scrap of paper the names of employees who do great work and put them in the hat in my office." Asok says, "And then do you select one name each week to receive valuable rewards?" The Boss says, "No, the scraps of paper make my hat more comfortable."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compensation, #manage, #career as director, #conpsiracy, #incompetent emplyees

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Catbert stands on The Bosses desk and says, "Your compensation is related to the number of people you manage." Catbert says, "Likewise, my career as director of human resources depends on the quantity of employees." Alice and Dilbert look at a group of dumb people. Alice says, "It's as if there were a conspiracy to hire hordes of incompetent employees."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #after 5 club, #select group, #employees, #creative ideas, #club for people, #during business hours, #business

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The Boss says to Wally, who is seated at his computer, "Wally, you are invited to my new 'after-5 club.'" The Boss says, "A select group of employees will meet after work to think of creative ideas." Wally turns to The Boss and says, "Is there a club for people who know how to think during business hours?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #good leader, #listens emplyees, #laughing on inside, #good time

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Wally stands in front of The Boss. The Boss says, "A good leader listens to his employees..." Wally stands, The Boss says off-frame, "No matter how much he is laughing on the inside." Wally says, "Maybe this isn't a good time." The boss makes a funny face.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #last bullet point, #bullet point, #admit wrong, #alice heard wrong, #boss has to admit wrong

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Alice has just presented a document to the Boss. As the Boss reads it, he tells her, "Remove that last bullet point. It's stupid." Alice gasps. Alice crosses her arms and says, "Yesterday, you told me to add that bullet point." She continues, "So either you were wrong today or you were wrong yesterday." The Boss ponders this. Alice pokes her head out of the Boss' office to tell the other workers, "Everyone come quickly! He has to admit he's wrong!" Dilbert and Asok sprint down the hall. Wally's head pops up from behind his cubicle wall, elated. Once the other employees are gathered around her, Alice cues the Boss, "Say it." The Boss responds, "Alice heard me wrong yesterday." Alice is furious as everyone continues to stand around her. Wally says, "It takes a big man to admit Alice is wrong." Asok, cupping his hands to his mouth, yells, "Can you hear us Alice?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bog stubborn, #dumb guy, #contract employees, #email, #bulletin list, #incremental cost, #agree with me, #our lives

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Caption: "Big stubborn guy" Dan says, "We should remove the contract employees from our e-mail bulletin list." Dilbert says, "Um.. they need that information to do thier jobs, and there's no incremental cost." Dilbert says, "This is when you agree with me and we move on eith our lives." Dan says, "I will fight you to the end of the earth!"