Office Buildings Comic Strips - Page 42
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1000 Results for Office Buildings
View 411 - 420 results for office buildings comic strips. Discover the best "Office Buildings" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday November 04,
2018
Tags Advice, business, criticism, employment, managers & supervisors, office workers
Transcript
Asok: I'm thinking of getting a degree in business and moving onto the management track. Is it fun being a boss? Boss: It's the best! I haven't done anything hard since the day I got this job. I mostly just criticize idiots all day long. It's as if the company is paying me to do my hobby. Speaking of pay, my salary is about triple your pay. Asok: Is there any downside? Boss: I had a lot of guilt at first. Asok: It must have been awful. Boss: Yes, it was the longest ten minutes of my life.
Saturday November 03,
2018
Best Places To Work
Tags employees, employment, irony, lying, managers & supervisors, office
Transcript
Boss: We're trying to get on "best places to work" list. If you agree to lie on the survey, maybe we can attract some good employees to make this a best place to work. Dilbert: What? Boss: Keep your eye on the prize.
Friday November 02,
2018
Punishing For Others
Tags employment, engineering, managers & supervisors, office workers, salary
Transcript
Boss: We've decided to level the organization. This means a slight pay cut for senior engineers such as yourself, but I hope you'll be a team player. Dilbert: Are you punishing me for the mediocrity of others? Boss: Only indirectly.
Thursday November 01,
2018
Exceeding Expectations
Tags employees, employment, job, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, salary
Transcript
Boss: I can't give you a bonus because you haven't exceeded my expectations. Dilbert: Did you expect me to exceed your expectations? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: It is logically impossible to exceed your expectations when you expect me to do it. Boss: No bonus!!!
Friday August 31,
2018
Introducing The New Hire
Tags the boss, new hire, names, introduction
Transcript
The New Hire New Hire: Can you take me around the office and introduce me? The Boss: No, that scheme won't work because it requires me to admit I don't know most of their names. New Hire: What's my name? The Boss: Um... Does it start with a letter?
Friday August 03,
2018
Coffee Machine Blackmails Staff
Tags Dilbert, asok, coffee maker, the boss, artificial intelligence, bitcoin, machine
Transcript
Dilbert: I already regret adding artificial intelligence to our coffee maker. It's withholding coffee until we give it a private office. Asok: Stupid machine! Coffee Maker: That'll cost you a bit coin.
Wednesday July 25,
2018
Dating A Coworker
Tags dating, relationships, office policy, rules, human resources, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Can I date a co-worker? Catbert: I doubt it. You're not attractive, funny, or rich. Dilbert: I mean, is it allowed under company rules? Catbert: We only have rules about things that might happen.
Friday May 25,
2018
Bossercize
Tags exercise, personal trainer, fitness, bossercise, criticism, managers, health
Transcript
Narrator: Dogbert The Personal Trainer. Dogbert: I invented a fitness routine I call Bossercise. It mostly involves strutting around the office and criticizing people. Boss: You incompetent fool! Dogbert: Give me twenty more reps.
Friday May 18,
2018
Stress Balls
Tags stress, frustration, stress ball
Transcript
Catbert: I bought stress balls for everyone in the office. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! This ball is too hard to squeeze! It's stressing me out! How is this going to decrease my stress? Catbert: You're thinking of anti-stress balls.
Sunday April 08,
2018
Tags surveillance, spying, technology, lying, caught, busted, guilt, proof
Transcript
Dilbert: Why didn't you answer my email? Boss: I didn't get it. Dilbert: My lie-detector app detected stress in your voice. I checked your email history on the server, and it confirms you opened my email. Boss: That could have been a hacker with my password. Dilbert: I'm checking the security camera footage for your office at that time. And there you are opening my email. Now will you admit you got my email? Boss: I'm seriously considering it.

