Great Products Comic Strips - Page 42

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

497 Results for Great Products

View 411 - 420 results for great products comic strips. Discover the best "Great Products" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blame, ceos, cnbc, executives, home address, layoffs, new prodcuts, product, quarterly, zero

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Our sales for the quarter are zero. Because I might have mentioned on CNBC that we have a better, cheaper model coming soon. So... great job on the new product... and I need to fire half of you so it looks as if I do things. Voice: What is your home address?

Dilbert Characters

Boss Transfers Problem To Someone Else

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Transfers Problem To Someone Else - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, bad advice, problem, problems, snag, prodcuts, accept failure, lie, transfer problem, father, old sayings, Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert:I'm hitting a snag with this RFP because our products don't do what they need. Should I give up and accept failure or lie about our features and transfer the problem to them? Boss: My daddy used to say it isn't a problem if you can give it to someone else. Dilbert: Then he drove you to school?

Wally Won't Oversupply Wisdom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Won't Oversupply Wisdom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags economist, Promotion, jargon, babble, deception, smart people, obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO wants to promote you to Chief Economist because nothing you say makes sense. He thinks that's the sign of a great economist. Wally: It totally is. Boss: Say something smart. Wally: Whoa! I don't want to create an oversupply of wisdom.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags reasoning, excuse, leadership, Promotion, promote

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't promote you because you didn't have an impact on anything important. Dilbert: How can I have an impact on important things when you put me on unimportant projects? Boss: That sounds like an excuse. Dilbert: What's the difference between an excuse and a great reason? Boss: It depends who says it. Leaders have great reasons when things don't work out, but losers just have excuses. Dilbert: So... you can turn my excuses into great reasons by promoting me? Boss: No, because I can't promote you. Dilbert: That sounds like an excuse.

Robot As Assassin

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot As Assassin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, murder, instruction, control, master, slave, assassin, morals, cautionary tale

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to kill the CEO of our main competition and make it look like a robot accident. Robot: Robots are not allowed to kill humans. That is built into my program. Boss: What if I uncheck that box on your control app? Robot: This feels like the start of a great day.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags illusion, strategy, business, executives, bluff, bluffing

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Revenue is dropping, but don't panic. We have a new strategy that will fix everything. Dilbert: How do you know it's a good strategy. CEO: I can tell by looking at it. Dilbert: Why don't all failing companies create great new strategies and become profitable? CEO: Hmmm. Good question. Dilbert: Maybe it's because no one can tell a good strategy from a bad one, but acting like you know the difference gets you a bigger paycheck. CEO: I just need buy-in for the strategy. Wally: If you give me a raise, I can pretend to know it's good.

Value Of A Start Up Idea

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Value Of A Start Up Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ideas, money, start-up, business, worth, value

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I have a great idea for a start-up company. All I need is a seed investor and an engineer to do all the work. Alice: I believe the economic term for what you have is "nothing."

Wally Thinks Twice As Hard

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Thinks Twice As Hard - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, motivation, trick, deception, excuse, lazy, energy, con, health

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm working twice as hard as ever before. Most of it is happening inside my head. But trust me, my brain is working double-time. Boss: Um... that's great. Wally: Obviously, I need to work fewer hours because of the energy drain.

Wally Resists The Tyranny Of Productivity

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Resists The Tyranny Of Productivity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags useless, laziness, productivity, flaw, strength, health

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Some people say uselessness is a character flaw. I see it as the natural result of mindful resistance to the tyranny of productivity. Dilbert: Where do you think food comes from? Wally: From my critics. It's a great system.

The Boss Had A Great Weekend

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Boss Had A Great Weekend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, work ethic, Fun, weekend, listening, frustration, fair, fairness, equality, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wow, I had an amazing weekend at my mountain cabin. Wine, friends, food, and amazing views! Dilbert: I worked all weekend because you said you would fire me if I didn't get this done by your arbitrary deadline. Boss: You're a terrible listener.