Many Problems Comic Strips - Page 42

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

428 Results for Many Problems

View 411 - 420 results for many problems comic strips. Discover the best "Many Problems" comics from Dilbert.com.

Complaining About Ted

Thank you for voting.
Complaining About Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #computer software, #engineering, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I took over Ted's software project. Everything he did was inefficient and stupid. Okay, we're done here. I'm checking you off my list. Alice: How many people are you complaining to? Dilbert: I trimmed the list to three hundred.

Keeping The Worthless People

Thank you for voting.
Keeping The Worthless People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #salary, #incompetence

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I've noticed that 20% of my employees do 80% of the work around here. But I need to keep all of the worthless employees because my pay is based on how many people report to me. Catbert: Doesn't their incompetence bother you? Boss: Not since I found a way to get paid for it.

Boxes With Names

Thank you for voting.
Boxes With Names - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #office workers, #suspicious, #layoff

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The rumors of a major layoff are completely untrue. Dilbert: Why did the facilities management people just deliver a huge load of cardboard boxes to the break room? Boss: You can never have too many boxes. Dilbert: Why does every box have an employee name on it?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #failure, #inventions, #office workers, #power, #science, #success

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I predict fusion power will be a big deal in fifteen years. Man: Fusion reactors are impossible to build and always will be. Dilbert: Then why are a dozen startups working on it? Man: Everyone who ever tried to create a fusion reactor has failed so far. Dilbert: Thomas Edison failed many times at making a useful incandescent light bulb before he succeeded. Would you have advised him to give up after the first ten failed attempts? I eagerly await your irrational response. Man: Incandescent bulbs are bad for the environment. Dilbert: And there it is.

Layoff Package

Thank you for voting.
Layoff Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #fire, #office, #office workers, #buyout

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: the company is announcing generous buyout packages for employees who elect to leave. dilbert: won't all the smart people leave first because they can easily get new jobs at higher pay? the boss: ummm... dilbert: if you don't get enough volunteers, will you start firing people? the boss: we have no plan to do that. dilbert: will you make a plan if too few people leave? the boss: oh, yes. dilbert: would it be fair to say the people who stay will envy the dead? the boss: um... one week later: the boss: how many took the offer? carol: it's just you now.

Unforseen Risks

Thank you for voting.
Unforseen Risks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #blame, #boss, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #risks

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How can you be sure there are no unforeseen risks with this plan? Dilbert: It is not possible to know if one has considered every risk. Therefore, we can never be sure. Boss: So...I can still blame you for any problems that pop up? Dilbert: Yes, that part of the process is still intact.

Toxic Employee And Tina

Thank you for voting.
Toxic Employee And Tina - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees, #problem

View Transcript

Transcript

toxic employee: hi. i'm the new toxic employee. i sense you don't have enough problems, so i came to give you some. tina: ha! i'm too smart to fall for that. toxic employee: that's what i told dilbert, but he smirked.

Curse Of Competence

Thank you for voting.
Curse Of Competence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #computer software, #employees, #office workers, #problem, #sarcasm, #condescending

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I need your help solving a software problem on my computer. Dilbert: Why am I cursed with the sort of competence that makes me a servant to the incapable? Man: I don't know what that means. Dilbert: If you did, you could probably fix your own problems.

Juggling 17 Balls

Thank you for voting.
Juggling 17 Balls - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2019's comic on:


Tags #comparison, #criticism, #employees, #office workers, #overwhelmed, #juggle

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I have too many projects. Boss: Pfft! If a juggler can juggle five balls at once, you can handle seventeen projects. Alice: But...no juggler can juggle seventeen balls at once. Boss: Not the lazy ones.

What If You Are In A Coma

Thank you for voting.
What If You Are In A Coma - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #cell phone, #client, #stupid, #liar, #insult, #understand, #die, #coma

View Transcript

Transcript

phone conversation dilbert: if you have any problems with the software, just give me a call. client: what if you die or you're in a coma? dilbert: well, in those cases i would not return your call. client: so you're lying about getting back to me. dilbert: no, i'm making a normal kind of generalization, which i assumed you would understand. client: okay, so now you're calling me stupid, and you're a liar? dilbert: if a liar calls you stupid, wouldn't that mean you are smart? client: fair point dilbert: thanks, i'm proud of it.