Million Per Year Comic Strips - Page 42
500 Results for Million Per Year
View 411 - 420 results for million per year comic strips. Discover the best "Million Per Year" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share November 09, 2009's comic on:
Topper Dilbert says, "The value of my home is down about 40%" Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I paid a homeless Elbonian family a million dollars to take my house." Dilbert says, "A recession isn't a competition." Topper says, "Said the loser."
Share November 13, 2009's comic on:
The Boss says, "Wally, when you don't give 100%, it's unfair to your co-workers who have to pick up the slack." Wally says, "Actually, I'm pretty sure they like having less competition for raises." The Boss says, "There's no budget for raises this year." Wally says, "Yeah, I wouldn't mention that to the others."
Share November 24, 2009's comic on:
Dogbert says, "I decided to twitter because everything that pops into my head is fascinating." Dogbert says, "I don't have time to write entire sentences, so I'll just send out one word per day." Dogbert texts, "Riboflavin."
Share December 09, 2009's comic on:
The Boss says, "If we work day and night, we can match our competitor's features within twelve months." Dilbert says, "Are we catching up to where they will be in a year, which is unknowable, or where they are now, which is stupid?" Wally says, "Well played." Alice says, "I got the next one."
Share December 24, 2009's comic on:
Share December 31, 2009's comic on:
Dilbert says, "It's new year's eve. Do you want to stay up until midnight?" Dogbert says, "Only losers wait until midnight. The Dogbert new year begins at 10 PM." Dilbert says, "It's 10 PM now." Dogbert says, "And I like to celebrate by giving myself a hug....mmm...."
Share March 09, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert: Out online budget approval system isn't working. There's a process for making changes to the system, but I don't know it. I could take a class to learn the process, but there's also a process for approving classes. I could learn the process for approving classes, but I'd still need approval for a budget variance to take the class. And I can't get that because the online budget approval system is broken. I can't even have this conversation because it will make me charge too much of my engineering time to administrative overhead. So I'll go sit in my cubicle and pretend to be thinking about a billable project. It looks like I'll be exaggerating my accomplishments again this year.
Share June 01, 2008's comic on:
The Boss says, "I can't give you a raise because your project is behind schedule." Dilbert says, "That's because the vendor delivered defective equipment." The Boss says, "It is your job to anticipate that sort of problem and head it off." Dilbert says, "It isn't possible to anticipate and head off every improbable event." The Boss says, "Well, you could have picked a more reliable vendor." Dilbert says, "You told me to use this vendor because the sales guy took you golfing and bought you a hat." The Boss says, "Well, you should have seen that coming and burned down all hat factories a year ago." Dilbert says, "He would have bribed you another way." The Boss says, "That's what lazy people say."
Share July 05, 2009's comic on:
Dilbert says, "I'm worried that I won't get a raise this year." The boss says, "You shouldn't worry about that." The boss says, "You should worry that you might lose your job in the next round of layoffs." Dilbert says, "I should worry about that???" The boss says, "Well...probably not." The boss says, "It makes more sense to worry about the entire company going out of business." The boss says, "And that's nothing if the global economy collapses." The boss says, "Maybe you should worry that the only viable livelihood of the future invokes cannibalism." Dogbert says, "Are you still worried about not getting a raise?" Dilbert says, "Not so much."
Share November 08, 2009's comic on:
Dilbert says, "And then Ted said he'd?" Man says, "Ho ho! I've seen that a million times!" Man says, "At my old job we used to make cricket noises whenever our manager was approaching." Man says, "But that doesn't mean you should cut corners when it comes to quality." Dilbert says, "You're hijacking our conversation!" Man says, "I'm adding value." Dilbert says, "You don't even know what we were talking about." Wally says, "Apparently you have a social disorder that compes you to insert irrelevant stories and trite observations into other people's conversations." Wally says, "I assume part of the disorder involves not being able to recognize it in yourself." Dilbert says, "I wonder if he can hear us." Man says, "Did I tell you about my camping trip?"