Ratbert As Intern Comic Strips - Page 42

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

526 Results for Ratbert As Intern

View 411 - 420 results for ratbert as intern comic strips. Discover the best "Ratbert As Intern" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #human resources, #been excessed, #yoga move, #rageful comments, #hope for a hug, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources "Your position has been excessed, or as I prefer to say..." "I will tear the flesh from your bones!" "Phew! I love that yoga move." "There is like, no hope for a hug, right?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lunch, #wine, #Dilbert, #talk about people, #fertilair, #digging dirt, #intern drunk, #taking notes

View Transcript

Transcript

"Asok, let's go to lunch. I'll buy." "Really?" "We'll have some wine, maybe talk about people that we both know." "Fun!" "And what does Dilbert call me?" "The fertiliar! Ha ha!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #finish project, #on time, #geta better boss, #better project, #weeks of confsuion, #no work, #less work, #morale up

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits at the conference table and says, "If you don't finish the project on time, I'll probably lose my job." Asok the Intern asks, "What would happen to us?" Dilbert answers, "We would get a better boss." Wally continues, "We might get a better project too!" Alice goes on, "There would be weeks of confusion with no work at all!" Everyone shouts, "YAY!!" Alice holds her hands close to her chest and says, "It's all ours if we simply do less work!" Alice says, "Whoo! I've never felt my morale go up before. I'm dizzy." The Boss looks at his paper and curses, "#$%^$#!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget estimate, #useful numbers, #boss hibernation, #say number, #budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the Intern and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss comes in and says, "I need your budget estimate today." Asok replies, "We won't have useful numbers until next week." Dilbert turns and says, "It doesn't work that way, Asok." Asok says, "No?" Asok and Dilbert approach the Boss who stares blankly into space. Dilbert explains, "As soon as he asked the question, he went into 'boss hibernation.'" Dilbert waves his hand in front of his face and says, "He can't see or hear anything until we say a number. Watch." Dilbert says, "Three million dollars." The Boss comes to and says, "Uhn!" The Boss walks away and says, "Three million. Good work." Dilbert says, "The first time I saw it, I panicked and ended up with a budget of $911."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stock - picking software, #more feauture, #make hair grow, #bald guys, #test on rat, #butticks

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: My stock-picking software needs more features. "I think I'll add a module that claims to make hair grow on bald guys. I'll first test it on a rat." Ratbert: "I feel a new one on my buttocks!" Dogbert: "That's all the proof I need."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conference call, #boss, #15 people, #availablity, #august 6th, #5 minutes, #so far so good

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: "Hello, this is Asok the intern. I am trying to set up a conference all with you boss and 15 other people."<Br>"Could you tell me all of the times he is available in the next six months?"<Br>"Only Augus sixth between 8:35 and 8:40." "So far so good."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #worlds greatest intern, #plagues, #bought plague, #less prominent placement, #alice called it

View Transcript

Transcript

ASOK: "Alice, you are looking at the newest member of "the world's greatest interns." Alice: "That's a scam to convince gullible interns to buy overpriced wall plaques." Asok: "I'll be displaying you less prominently than we had discussed."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #being ceo, #made smarter, #capital of japan, #mitubishi, #genius

View Transcript

Transcript

The best part about being CEO is that it made me smarter. Watch this. "The capital of Japan is Mitsubishi." "That's right! You're a genius!" "Yesterday I would have said nine."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trip to la, #milestones, #burgeoning career, #airport, #pass out, #carrying intern

View Transcript

Transcript

Th eBoss: "Asok, I'm flying to Los Angeles for a meeting and I want you to join me." Asok: "Gasp" "I am honored. This feels like an important milestone in my burgeoning career!" Flight attendant: "We'll begin by pre-boarding anyone who..." The boss: "Coming through!" "Flyco!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I made a fortune by being an incompetent CEO. Everyone called me crazy when I put my entire personal wealth into pigs and garbage dumps. "You invested all of your money in pigs and dumps?" "Invested? Now that would have been a good idea too."