Secretaries (Office) Comic Strips - Page 43
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1000 Results for Secretaries (Office)
View 421 - 430 results for secretaries (office) comic strips. Discover the best "Secretaries (Office)" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday January 25,
2001
Tags discount brokerage, estate plan, pass away, stay dead, zombie, bad gifts
Transcript
DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: A man on a cell phone says, "I need an estate plan for after I pass away." Dogbert, in his office and wearing a headset, says to the man, "Here's a plan: Stay dead. No one likes a zombie." The man on the cell phone asks, "What about gifts?" Dogbert's reply is, "Zombies make bad gifts."
Friday January 26,
2001
Tags discount brokerage, free dart board, monkey, drops below, five hundred, order money to kill, strange techniques, animals
Transcript
DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: Dogbert is in his office wearing a headset. He says, "When you open an account, you'll get a free dart board and a monkey." Dogbert continues, "If your balance drops below five hundred dollars, we'll order the monkey to kill you." Dogbert continues, "Well, think about it and get back to me."
Tuesday March 27,
2001
Tags good news, bad news, power utility, company, new vp opeartaions, offcie, wheel attached, generator, business
Transcript
Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Ratbert, I have good news and bad news." Dogbert says to a happy Ratbert, "The good news is I'm starting up a power utility company and you're my new VP of Operations!" Dogbert says to a chagrined Ratbert, "The bad news is that your office is inside a wheel attached to a generator."
Saturday May 05,
2001
Tags rebooting computer, kicks computer, roof top, feel better
Transcript
Alice is on the phone in front of her computer. The person on the phone says, "Try rebooting your computer." A furious Alice is seen on top of the office building, kicking her computer off the roof. Alice peers over the side of the building on the phone and says, "Thanks. I feel much better."
Tuesday May 15,
2001
Tags sales people, phone calls, taking brides, supplement, income, natural extention, empowerment, micromangement brewing
Transcript
Carol enters the Boss' office. He is holding up the phone and asks, "Carol, why do you keep putting sales people through to me?" Carol replies, "I'm taking bribes to supplement my income. It's a natural extension of empowerment." The Boss shakes angrily, and Carol says, "I sense some micromanagement brewing."
Thursday May 31,
2001
Tags mobile tech platform, own wheelbarrow, lost lung
Transcript
The Boss walks out of his office with his giant gadget and says, "Carol, order an extra battery for my mobile technology platform." Carol replies, "Do you want the one that straps to your back or the one with its own wheelbarrow?" The Boss is seen sweating, carrying a huge, heavy black thing on this back, and thinking, "I think I just lost a lung."
Tuesday June 12,
2001
Tags leave work, boss harrassment, work is done, make more, exercise in fulity, exercise is good
Transcript
Dilbert is walking out of the office with his briefcase and his jacket on. The Boss looks at his watch and says, "Leaving at seven?" Dilbert turns and replies, "All of my work is done." The Boss replies, "Then get some more work." Dilbert says, "That would make my life an exercise in futility." The Boss replies, "Exercise is good for you."
Wednesday June 13,
2001
Tags leave work early, doctor appt, female issues, get out of work, worked, 80 hour week, boss, zombie
Transcript
Alice is leaving the office with her briefcase and her jacket. The Boss stands with his hands on his hips in the doorway behind her and says, "It looks like someone is leaving early." Alice turns and replies, "I started at 5 a.m. and I've already worked eighty hours this week." The Boss looks at her and says, "SO?" Alice replies, "I have a doctor's appointment...for female..." as the Boss puts his hands to his ears and yells, "No details! Go Go Go!"
Saturday July 28,
2001
Tags trapped in offcie, scream, staple remover, claw wall, door is pull not puch
Transcript
The Boss walks up to Carol's desk. He is thoroughly disheveled; his hair is messed up, his shirt is torn and dirty. He exclaims, "I've been trapped in my office for three days! Didn't you hear me scream?" The Boss continues, shaking his hands frantically in front of Carol: "I used my staple remover to claw through the side wall!" Carol responds calmly, "Your door is a pull, not a push." The Boss, looking confused, replies, "Get me a bigger staple remover just to be safe."
Monday August 27,
2001
Tags perfromance, exceeds expectations, underachievers, extra money, go get money
Transcript
Alice enters The Boss' office and says, "My performance exceeds expectations but my pay is based on market averages." Alice continues, "I figure some underachievers are getting the extra money that I earn." Alice continues, "Give me their names so I can go get my money." The Boss replies, "It's Wally."


