Working Fine Comic Strips - Page 43

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

538 Results for Working Fine

View 421 - 430 results for working fine comic strips. Discover the best "Working Fine" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illness, #laziness, #sitting disease, #sit all day, #bad health, #safety more eimportant, #drink coffee instead

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I've got a bad case of something the experts call "sitting disease." Studies show that people who sit all day for their jobs have 40% greater chance of dying in the next three years. Company policy says safety is more important than productivity, right? Boss: Um... sort of. Wally: So instead of sitting at my desk working, I plan to walk around and drink coffee. For safety reasons. Boss: GO sit at your desk or you're fired. There's a good chance this problem will resolve itself within three years.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #laziness, #managers & supervisors, #famous leaders, #copy, #16 hrs a day, #reading about industry, #leaders eat cake, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I have studied the practices of famous leaders so you can copy them. First, work sixteen hours every day. Boss & CEO: Sixteen hours?? Dogbert: And in your spare time, you should be reading about your industry to stay current. Boss & CEO: Reading??? Dogbert: Oookay. This isn't working. Suppose I told you that famous leaders eat a lot of cake? That took a creepy turn.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #managers & supervisors, #work ethic, #facebook, #work, #home, #unpaid work, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You're not allowed to use Facebook at work. Alice: Fine. I'll use it at home tonight instead of doing the three hours of unpaid work I was planning to do. Boss: I"m calling that a win.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obliviousness, #terrorists, #weapons, #fleet small drones, #customers, #infidels, #design guy, #mullah john smith

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We won the bid to build a fleet of small drones for retail package delivery. I'm not sure why they call their customers infidels, but I doubt that's important. You'll be working with their design guy, who's name is Mullah John Smith.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public speaking, #slides tell a story, #status of project, #clown, #broken watch, #eagle, #technology, #old shoe, #storm drain, #pie chart, #dcitionary, #images, #offcie, #cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Experts say your slides should tell a story in pictures. Start with an image that captures the status of your project. Dilbert: How about this image of a clown with a broken watch? Boss: I was thinking eagle. Dilbert: Fine. Eagle. Boss: Now find an image that shows our technology strategy. Dilbert: How about this image of an old show in a storm drain? Boss: I was thinking pie chart. Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Now for the words. Dilbert: How about this image of a dictionary?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obliviousness, #thinking, #judge them, #chipmunk, #judge algebra, #complex and useful, #innovative circuit design, #engineer, #office setting, #desks, #computers, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you have any great ideas? Dilbert: How would I know? Boss: You could tell me your ideas and I'll judge them Dilbert: That's like asking a chipmunk to judge algebra. Boss: Are you comparing me to algebra? Dilbert: Sure, let's go with that. Boss: That makes sense because algebra is complex and useful... just like me. Dilbert: So... what do you think of this innovative circuit design? Boss: It's um... fine? Dilbert: Said the chipmunk to the engineer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #optimism, #flattened management structure, #uptick in fork attacks, #insider trading, #benefits, #stock portfolio up, #sciatica better, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: How's our new flattened management structure working out? Boss: I'm seeing an uptick in fork attacks and insider trading. CEO: Now tell me the benefits. Boss: My sciatica no longer hurts. And my stock portfolio is way up.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #vacations, #work harder, #no vacation, #boss, #time off, #employee

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I take my vacation next week? Boss: Fine. Just work twice as hard this week to get everything done before you leave. Dilbert: In that case, I prefer not taking a vacation at all. Boss: It's starting to look as if nothing can make you happy.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #electronic mail, #internet & world wide web, #scams, #enter bank acct, #employee, #boss

View Transcript

Transcript

WHY phishing scams keep working enter your bank account number. Dilbert: Scam. WAIT FOR IT enter your bank account number Alice: Scam. There it is Boss: Okey-dokey.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #optimism, #die younger, #ignornat, #comparison, #peers, #bright future, #better than me

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What a great day! Alice: What's all this nonsense? Dilbert: I"m trying to be an optimist. Alice: Studies show that optimists die younger. So this optimism thing just makes you look ignorant. And because my happiness is based on a comparison to my peers, I don't want your future to be too bright. Stop thinking you're better than me in the future! Dilbert: This is exactly why I want to die younger. Alice: You already knew that optimists die young? Dilbert: Yup! How's your plan working?