Ceo Comic Strips - Page 43
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627 Results for Ceo
View 421 - 430 results for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday November 17,
2014
Send Ceo On Dangerous Stunts
Tags ceos, death, deception, split duites, boring meetings, publicity stunts, business scheme, 3people, medical
Transcript
Co-CEOs. Dogbert: Let's split the duties this way... I will be the CEO who attends boring meetings, and you can be more of a Richard Branson type who does dangerous publicity stunts. Co-CEO: I love that idea. Dogbert: And then there was one.
Tuesday November 18,
2014
Co Ceo Died Kitesurfing
Tags apathy, ceos, death, emotions, executives, bad news, publicity stunt, margins, died, medical
Transcript
Dogbert the Co-CEO. Dilbert: I have bad news. Your Co-CEO died trying to kitesurf some class 6 rapids for a publicity stunt. Dogbert: Get to the bad part. Is it margins?
Wednesday November 19,
2014
Wally Does Ceo Job For 10%
Tags deception, money, wages, work ethic, annual pay, deal, split work, salary, work percentage, pass the buck
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO. Dogbert: I will give you 10% of my annual pay if you do 100% of my job for me. 10% of my pay as CEO is still a lot of money. Wally: I'll do it. I'll give you 10% of what he's paying me if you do 100% of his work plus mine. It's still a lot of money. Asok: I'm in!
Thursday November 20,
2014
Board Offers Dogbert Severence Package
Tags avarice, compensation, executives, golden parachute, greed, money, wages
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO. Catbert: The board has approved a $100 million golden parachute if you quit now. Dogbert: $100 million?!!! How am I supposed to live on that? You insult me! Catbert: That's a lot of money for doing nothing. Dogbert: Bah! I spend more than that on soft cheese.
Friday November 21,
2014
Ceo Gets Rehired
Tags dancing, executives, firing, payback, revenge, vengeance, rehired, ceo, security videos, happy dance, spasms
Transcript
CEO: Good news! I got rehired as CEO! I checked the security videos for the day I got fired, and not I'm getting revenge on anyone who did a happy dance. Dilbert: Did I...? CEO: Frankly, I can't tell. Do you have spasms?
Monday November 24,
2014
Winning The Bid
Tags bidding, executives, lying, outsourcing, projects, winning bid, good news, secretly subcontract, scream, presentation
Transcript
Dilbert: The good news is that we had the winning bid for the project. The less-good news is that we don't make the product we just sold, nor could we make it for the price we bid. My plan is to put out an RFP to secretly subcontract the work to a bigger liar. CEO: That could work.
Saturday December 06,
2014
No More Than Eight People In A Meeting
Tags autobiography, executives, ghost writers, quote, quotes, co author, meetings, rules
Transcript
Dilbert: Your rule is that no more than eight people should attend a meeting, so I can't let you sit down. CEO: When did I say that? Dilbert: It was in a book you co-wrote. CEO: I knew I should have skimmed that thing. Dilbert: Your unknown co-author is quite wise.
Saturday December 27,
2014
Blist Point For 3 D Goggles
Tags customer retention, death, immersive technology, moratlity, technology, virtual reality, immersive 3d head gear, starved, bliss point, medical
Transcript
Dilbert: We found the "bliss point" for immersive 3-D headgear. The product is so good that 87% of our customers starved to death while using it. CEO: We never get the customer retention part right.
Sunday December 28,
2014
Tags arguing, email, expectations, logic, sleep, winning, work ethic, promptly respond, employees, necessary, brain function, succumbs to leadership, dysfunctional moron, confsuion, win converstions, ceo, health, business
Transcript
CEO: You didn't promptly respond to my email last night. Dilbert: You sent that email at 1 a.m. CEO: I expect my employees to be checking email at all times. Dilbert: Sleep is necessary for normal brain function. Anyone who succumbs to your leadership on this topic will turn into a dysfunctional moron in 48 hours. CEO: I don't see where you're going with this. It's all so confusing to my brain. So tired... can't stay awake... Dilbert: I don't usually win conversations this decisively.

