Company Comic Strips - Page 43

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

882 Results for Company

View 421 - 430 results for company comic strips. Discover the best "Company" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone bill, expense, award, speech, lost cell phone, low bill, company phone

View Transcript

Transcript

"The expense cutters award goes to Wally for drastically lowering his cell phone bill." "Wally, would you like to say a few words to the group?" "I lost my phone last month. Hey, thanks for the hundred dollars!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo, worer, 40 million a year, 400 x worker pay, salary, disparity, golden egg, every ten minutes, money

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our CEO will be happy to answer any questions." Alice: "Why does the company pay you 40 million dollars a year?" "I ask because it's 400 times more than I make. And I work 70 hours a week." "Do you work 28,000 hours per week?" "Or do you have some sort of special ability that isn't obvious?" CEO: "GRRRRR RRRRR AAAAH-OOGAH!!!" "Golden egg. One every ten minutes." "Good answer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags compnay, synonymous with crime, incompetence, new logo, computer graohics, crime

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert Consults." Dogbert: "Your company has become synonymous with incompetence and crime." "Stop trying to be all things to all people. Focus on either the incompetence OR the crime." "For your new logo, I used computer graphics to create a composite face that looks totally incompetent." "Wow."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags typo discovered, driving staretgy, eberyone, avery wong, free delivery

View Transcript

Transcript

Ask: "I discovered a typo in the market forecast that is driving our company strategy." "Where it says,'Everyone would want one,' it should have said, 'Every Wong would want one." "Worse yet, I called Mr. Wong and he said he was joking." The Boss: "What if we gave him free delivery?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new senior engineer, ready for promotion, 5 year intern, mean, unfair, poor business model, department won't grow, train new guy

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: "I heard that you got approval to hire a new Senior Engineer." "As an intern, I have performed all the functions of a Senior Engineer for the past five years. I am now ready for promotion." The Boss: "I plan to hire someone from outside the company." "Must control tiny fists of intern fury." The Boss: "I have the approval to fill the Senior Engineer position but there's a ban on hiring new interns." "So, if I promote you, my empire... oops... I mean my department won't grow." Ask: "Gaaaa! My despair has turned into a searing psychological pain! Ow ow ow!" "That reminds me, I need you to train the new guy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags leadership meeting, no pen, no notes, no decison, no leadership

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: This was a productive four hour leadership meeting, Id like one of you to type up your notes and send an email to the entire company. No one took notes? The Boss: I didn't have a pen. CEO: Okay no problem, does anyone remember what we decided? The Boss: We agreed to increase...something No, decrease something. CEO: Never mind. lets try it gain on thursday at 8AM Carol: When is the next leadership meeting? The Boss: I should have written that down.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags borrow chair, leave callateral, financial officer

View Transcript

Transcript

Financial officer: "May I borrow your chair for a meeting?" Dilbert: "Okay, but leave your wallet, keys, company ID, and one shoe with me." Financial officer: "I'm your chief financial officer." Dilbert: "Then I also need your PDA and one sock."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tainted research, skinny people, bright light, association of donught makers, wheel chair, man in bandages

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm starting a company that specializes in doing tainted research." "The Association of Doughnut Makers asked me to prove that skinny people can't go to heaven." "Did you see a bright light before the doctors revived you?" "No, why?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags poorly designed product, ever been killed, tainted research

View Transcript

Transcript

"This is the Dogbert research company. Have you ever been killed by a poorly designed product?" "My tainted research shows that your products haven't killed anyone." "For an extra $50,000, I can call a second person." "I don't want to jinx it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stale dna, ceo, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our CEO says he wants to change the DNA of this company. Catbert: whats that mean? The Boss: I don't know, It sounds medical. Im frightened. The boos: Hold me. Catbert: Keep your stale DNA away from me.