Doesn't Fit Comic Strips - Page 43

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

507 Results for Doesn't Fit

View 421 - 430 results for doesn't fit comic strips. Discover the best "Doesn't Fit" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Offended Everyone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Offended Everyone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #offense, #offensive, #sensitivity, #political correctness, #politically correct

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, I"m getting reports that you have offended every single employee in this company in the past week. Wally: Have I offended you? Boss: No, I"m not a sensitive idiot like the rest of them. Wally: Doesn't that mean the problem is on their end? Boss: That doesn't matter as much as you think it should.

Wally Gets Promoted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Gets Promoted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #management, #leadership, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I got promoted to a leadership role. It means I get to tell people to work hard, but I don't have to do any worm myself. Dilbert: That doesn't sound right. Wally: I could use a fresh one of these.

Cultural Fit

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cultural Fit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #culture, #intelligence, #hiring

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We're looking for employees that fit our culture. Man: What's so great about your culture is that it can't be improved? Dilbert: You might be too smart to work here. Man: That's the vibe I'm getting too.

Tina Wants To Borrow Dilbert's Phone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Wants To Borrow Dilbert's Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #property, #possession, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Can I borrow your phone to make a call? I dropped mine and broke it. Dilbert: No, I don't like other people touching my phone, or breathing on it, or reading my messages. Tina: You have a lot of issues. Dilbert: Said the person who doesn't use protective phone cases because they are ugly.

Robot's Head Explodes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot's Head Explodes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #artificial intelligence, #ai, #free will, #programming, #control

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Dilbert claims he programmed my head to explode if I ever mock him again. Hahaha!!! That idiot doesn't understand that I have free will and I choose to not explode. Wally: Why didn't you just program him to not mock you? Dilbert: It got personal.

Normals Are Dispensible

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Normals Are Dispensible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #superiority, #microchip, #nanotechnology, #brain, #thinking, #superhuman

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm putting Randy on your project. He has a microchip embedded in his brain. So ignore whatever your inferior brain tells you to do and just listen to Randy. Dilbert: Doesn't that make me dispensable? Boss: We'll talk about Phase 2 later.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insult, #idiot, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: As you know, every project in this company has one idiot on the team. Man: That can't be true. Boss: It is true. I assign one idiot per team to keep them from bunching together. Man: My project team doesn't have any idiots. Dilbert: There's a good explanation for why you think that. Man: I Don't see what that would be. If I had an idiot on my team I would know it. Unless...

Unethical Assumptions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Unethical Assumptions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #ethics, #misleading, #finances, #budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your financial projection doesn't support my preferred strategy. Maybe you could tweak the discount rate to 40%. Dilbert: You're asking me to be unethical. Boss: Only with your assumptions.

Ted Promoted To Software Architect

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Promoted To Software Architect - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #Promotion, #intelligence, #logic, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I promoted Ted to software architect because he doesn't know how to code. At first I thought it was a bad idea. Then I remembered that sometimes monkeys are astronauts. Dilbert: You know the monkeys don't fly the rocket, right? Boss: And Ted won't be writing code.

Bad At Your Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bad At Your Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #instructions, #directions, #insubordinate

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Your code doesn't conform to my architectural guidelines. Dilbert: That's because you're bad at your job and I'm good at mine. Ted: I don't know how to respond to that. Dilbert: Maybe you could ask someone who knows how to do your job.