Employees Comic Strips - Page 43

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580 Results for Employees

View 421 - 430 results for employees comic strips. Discover the best "Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags flirting, romance, privacy, stalking, creepy, creeper, gestures, gifts, coworkers

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The New Employee. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. I bought you a book. Woman: Okay, weird. Who buys gifts for new co-workers? And how did you know this is my favorite author? Dilbert: I asked one of the network guys to check your browser history. Catbert assured me that employees have no right to privacy. I heard that women like it when men put thought into a gift. I hope you appreciate my romantic gesture. Wally: Did she make a romantic gesture back? Dilbert: I choose to interpret it that way.

Only Masochist Would Live Here

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Only Masochist Would Live Here - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hiring, jobs, talent, masochist, masochism, expectations, work ethic, work environment

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CEO: Here's my list of the ten qualities I want in all new employees. Catbert: A person with all of these qualities would also need to be a masochist to work here. CEO: Write that in.

Ten Things We Look For In Employees

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Ten Things We Look For In Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hiring, qualifications, interview, job interview, outsmart

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Boss: We look for ten qualities when we hire. Man: Ten? I'm looking for an employer who knows how to set priorities. Boss: He was too good for us.

Ceo Delegates From A Distance With Catbert

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Ceo Delegates From A Distance With Catbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags punishment, cat, throwing, executives, animals

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CEO: I love having a football-sized evil director of Human Resources. Now I can delegate from a distance. Catbert: I sense disgruntled employees in that direction! Launch! CEO: You'll have to walk after the first ten feet.

Employees Are Our Most Valuable Asset

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Employees Are Our Most Valuable Asset - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags statement, value, motivation, backfire, praise

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Boss: People are our most valuable asset. Dilbert: I will remind you of that when I ask for a raise. Alice: Me, too. Boss; It blew up in my face.

Manager Of The Year Award

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Manager Of The Year Award - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags attendance, manager, management, laissez faire, cause and effect, award, accolade

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Catbert: Employees voted you "Manager of the Year." As usual, this honor is going to the manager with the worst attendance. We're hoping it's more of a correlation than a causation thing.

Sense Of Awe

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Sense Of Awe - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags management, executives, leader, leadership, overwork, work ethic, motivation

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Catbert: A good leader creates a sense of awe in employees. But I think you'll find it a lot faster to create a sense of "ow" instead. CEO: I need you to work all weekend again. Dilbert: Ow!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, first impression, culture, interview, job interview, deception, revenge, nice, niceness, nice people, business

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Job Interview. Boss; When I make hiring decisions, my biggest priority is cultural fit. Man: Your buzzwords are like music to my unemployed ears. And here come some employees who can tell me about your company culture. Boss: Uh-oh. Man: Hey, guys. Can I ask some questions about the culture here? Dilbert: Working here is like a paradise. Wally: Best place ever. Dilbert: Our days are full of laughter, hugging, and camaraderie. Wally: Coffee is free! Man: Wow. Thanks. I look forward to working here. Boss: ??? Dilbert: I didn't like that guy. Wally: I'm glad we got our revenge in advance.

Employees Should Be Optimists

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Employees Should Be Optimists - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags optimism, optimist, work ethic, gullible, trick, deception

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Catbert: The Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: Ideally, you want all of your employees to be optimists. Because optimists believe anything you tell them. Boss: If you work all weekend, and our profits double in a month, I'll give you a helicopter. Asok: Deal!

Tina Gost Writes About Success

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Tina Gost Writes About Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, humility, insult, humble, ghostwriter, biography, Advice, business

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Boss: Tina, a business publication asked me to write an article about success. I need you to ghostwrite it. Make me look wise, yet humble at the same time. Tina: "Hire employees that are smarter than you. In my case, that includes all adults, most children, and an alarming number of dolphins.