Illegal Ask Comic Strips - Page 43

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425 Results for Illegal Ask

View 421 - 425 results for illegal ask comic strips. Discover the best "Illegal Ask" comics from Dilbert.com.

Help Me With Something

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Help Me With Something - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #compensation, #system, #incentive, #budget, #limit, #smart, #business

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male office worker: can you help me with something? dilbert: no, our employee compensation system incentivizes me to let you fail so i can lay claim to a larger share of our limited budget for raises. maybe you could ask someone who is less aware. office worker: none of them are smart enough to help.

Ceo Visits

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Ceo Visits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #ceo, #office, #questions, #visit, #eyes, #dead, #business

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dilbert: our ceo will be visiting the office tomorrow, so act busy. and don't look directly at him because i don't want him to see how dead your eyes look. dilbert: can we ask him questions? boss: no, nothing good can come from that.

Cross Training

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Cross Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2020's comic on:


Tags #co-workers, #business, #cross train, #fire, #job, #dumb, #manager

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dilbert: our pointy-haired boss told me to ask you to cross-train me on your job junctions. ted: that sounds exactly like he plans to fire me as soon as you can do my job. dilbert: in my defense, he assured me you would be too dumb to realize that.

Illegal To Sell Armed Drones

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Illegal To Sell Armed Drones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #illegal, #armed, #drones, #private, #citizens, #sell, #business, #technology, #bribe, #law

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boss: i just learned it's illegal to sell armed drones to private citizens. how many orders did we get since we started selling them this morning? dilbert: seventy million. boss: i'll look into bribing someone to change the law.

What Good Is Money

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What Good Is Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #sarcasm, #income, #soul, #money, #earn, #rent, #own

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dilbert on couch at home: what good is earning money if it costs me my soul? dogbert: well, for one thing, it's the only way you can pay your rent. dilbert: rent? i own this house. dogbert: you really should read the things i ask you to docusign.