Push Away Comic Strips - Page 43

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501 Results for Push Away

View 421 - 430 results for push away comic strips. Discover the best "Push Away" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2010's comic on:


Tags #boss, #stuck, #ductwork, #device, #pressure, #push, #shoot, #foom, #fly into the air, #rocket, #airplane, #hang onto wing, #koi pond

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Dilbert says, "Our device will create enough pressure to gently push our boss's carcass out of the ductwork." FOOM! Captain says, "This is Captain Sullenberger. Don't worry about the wing; I see a koi pond down there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2010's comic on:


Tags #cost estimate, #deny, #numbers, #manipulate, #decisions, #hurt, #typing at computer, #humming noise, #annoy, #go away, #angry face, #home, #sitting on couch

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Coworker says, "Can I get a rough cost estimate for the design phase?" Dilbert says, "No. I don't trust you with numbers." Coworker says, "What?" Dilbert says, "You're the kind of guy who will remove useful qualifiers and distribute a figure as if it is true in all cases." Dilbert says, "Decisions will be made. People will get hurt." Dilbert says, "For everyone's sake, the safest thing I can do is make an annoying humming sound until you go away." Dilbert says, "Hummmmm-mmmmmmmmm-mmmmm." Dilbert says, "Half of life is making people go away." Dogbert says, "Humm-mmmm"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2010's comic on:


Tags #deadline, #computer, #work, #arbitrary, #sarcastic, #hearing distance, #scurry away, #fast, #end of day, #technology

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The Boss says, "And I'll need that by the end of day." Dilbert says, "I will gladly rush to meet your arbitrary deadline so my work can sit in your e-mail inbox until next week." The Boss says, "I'm still within hearing distance." Dilbert says, "Oops. You usually scurry away faster."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2010's comic on:


Tags #party, #woman, #date, #hold drink, #invent, #shoulder phone, #old man's head, #soup, #bones, #scary, #arm out, #surprised, #run away, #scared, #Dogbert, #trick, #auto-answer, #kiss

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Dilbert says, "It's a shoulder phone shaped like an old man's head. I invented it myself." Phone says, "Let's make soup from her bones, just like the others!" Dilbert says, "I shouldn't have told Dogbert it has auto-answer." Phone says, "Kiss me! Now!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2010's comic on:


Tags #cpg project, #confused, #leader, #team, #face front, #back, #walk away, #flippant, #useless, #forget, #frustrated, #angry, #comfort, #hand on shoulder, #shake, #clench teeth, #hair stand up, #business

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The Boss says, "How's the CPG project coming along?" Dilbert says, "How would I know?" The Boss says, "You're leading that project." Dilbert says, "I am? Since when?" The Boss says, "I told everyone on the team two months ago." Dilbert says, "I'm not on the team. You never told me." The Boss says, "Whatever, go tell the team you've been in charge for the past two months and see what they've accomplished." The Boss says, "Who is on the team?" The Boss says, "I forget. I think one had dark hair. And another one was sad." The Boss says, "Don't tell them there's a duplicate project in another division." Wally says, "You'll be okay. Just release the caring. Let it go."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2010's comic on:


Tags #beta test, #meeting, #face front, #impractical maintenance requirement, #lube, #bear's ear, #warrant, #product, #legal, #shake fist, #justice, #sick, #hand to mouth, #shake, #throw up, #business, #medical

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The Boss says, "The beta test went well. Thank you, Dilbert." The Boss says, "Now I'll have Tina add an impractical maintenance requirement to the manual and we're ready to go." Dilbert says, "What?" The Boss says, "It's standard procedure." The Boss says, "Say the user needs to lube the product ten time a day with the wax from a bear's ear." The Boss says, "And say the warranty is voided if the device isn't properly maintained." Dilbert says, "Is that legal?" The Boss says, "It's better than legal." The Boss says, "We're using the law to keep justice away!!" Dilbert says, "I feel sick." The Boss says, "That's how you know it's working."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #technology service, #hospice, #bazooka, #hold gun, #intimidate, #compassion, #surprise, #scared, #computer, #windows xp, #technology, #business

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The Boss says, "I hired the Dogbert Technology Hospice Service to ease the suffering of our dying technology." The Boss says, "Dogbert will use compassion and? what was the other thing?" Dogbert says, "Bazooka." Dogbert says, "Step away from the Windows XP!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 2010's comic on:


Tags #magic button, #cost estimates, #push, #phrase, #swear

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Dilbert says, "This is a magic button." Dilbert says, "Any time you ask for cost estimates, I push the button and it guides me." Button says, "Pull the numbers out of your?" Dilbert says, "It only says the one thing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 2010's comic on:


Tags #phone, #lunch, #talk about products, #reject, #woman, #attractive

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Carl says, "Let's have lunch so I can tell you about our products." Dilbert says, "No thanks." Dilbert says, "I don't like meeting new people." Dilbert says, "Every person I meet chips away at my freedom." Dilbert says, "If I have lunch with you, I'll feel an obligation to return your pestering phone calls." Dilbert says, "My lunchtime is the only chance I get during the day to scrape off the leeches." Dilbert says, "Nothing personal." Woman says, "Do you want to have lunch and discuss our new product line?" Dilbert says, "Sure!" Dilbert says, "Carl, you are totally in the wrong profession."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2010's comic on:


Tags #clean up, #janitor, #crime scene, #push broom, #deadly computer explosions

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Dilbert says, "I got transferred to our crime scene cleanup subsidiary." Dilbert says, "I have a competitive advantage because I have the customer lists from our other subsidiaries." Man says, "No, we haven't had any deadly computer explosions here." Dilbert says, "I'll check back in an hour."