Ted Comic Strips - Page 43

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448 Results for Ted

View 421 - 430 results for ted comic strips. Discover the best "Ted" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ted Talks Creates A God

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Ted Talks Creates A God - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, mental, midget, ted talks, binge-watching, god, dumb, all knowing

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new hire: i must leave you mental midgets behind as i go start up my own company. i was once dumb like all of you. then i started binge-watching ted talks, and i evolved. dilbert: what are you now? new hire: some kind of god, i assume.

Getting Opinions

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Getting Opinions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, technology, input, dumb, human, universe, Opinion, strategy, worse

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boss: get ted's input before you finalize the plan. dilbert: ted is the dumbest human being in the known universe. his opinion can only make things worse. boss: that's how we do it here. dilbert: i didn't realize it was a strategy.

Ted Needed To Know

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  Ted Needed To Know - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, technology, business, email, forward, malice, slander, private, know, face maks

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alice: i forwarded your email to ted. Dilbert shaken: WHAT!!! i said bad things about ted! that was a private email to you! alice: he needed to know. dilbert yelling: he did not need to know!

Ted Takes Selfie With Bear

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Ted Takes Selfie With Bear  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, selfie, picture, wild, bear, success, techology, business, face mask

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wally: did you hear ted took a selfie with a wild bear? dilbert: wow. where can i see that picture? wally: you'd need to ask the bear. it didn't go well.

Everyone But Ted

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Everyone But Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, project, success, thank, twice, hear, slow, coffee, sarcasm

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dilbert video conferencing: i'd like to thank everyone who made the project a huge success. except for ted, who made everything twice as hard as it needed to be. ted: i can hear you. dilbert: you're slowing us down again, ted.

Boss Bluffs On Blockchain

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Boss Bluffs On Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, blockchain, byte, code, consensus, bluff

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boss in meeting: i'm no expert on blockchain, but i think... we need to get the evm stack on the bytecode so we don't run into a consensus fork. boss to ted: did that mean anything? ted: don't ask me. i'm bluffing too.

Ted Liked A Tweet

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Ted Liked A Tweet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employment, managers & supervisors, fired, business, twitter, tweet, hacked, technology, social media, file, lie, plausible, liked, unacceptable

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boss: ted, i have to fire you for liking an unacceptable tweet seven years ago on twitter. ed: it..it..wasn't me. someone hacked my account, or maybe my finger slipped. boss: which lie do you want me to put in your file? ted: did either of them sound plausible?

Reimagine Ted's Job

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Reimagine Ted's Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boring, business, job, new, pay, projects, reimagine, technology, compensation

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boss: ted, we need to reimagine your job. ted: i hope that means you will replace the boring parts of my job with exciting new projects. boss: it doesn't mean that. boss: does it mean doing the same work for higher pay?

Ted Reimagined More

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Ted Reimagined More - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, employment, unnecessary, job, budget, sarcasm

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boss: when i say we need to reimagine your job, it means we no longer need anyone to do what you have been doing. ted: do you mind if i ask when you first realized that my job was totally unnecessary? boss: it was four years ago, but you seemed happy, and we had the budget to pay you, so...

Ted And His Laptop

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Ted And His Laptop - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, employment, fired, laptop, technology

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boss: today is your last day with the company, ted. so i need your company laptop back. ted: or else what? you'll fire me twice? boss: let's say you're not officially fired until you return the laptop. ted: and if i don't bring it back, will i never be fired? boss: um...