Ten Million Dollars Comic Strips - Page 43

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

429 Results for Ten Million Dollars

View 421 - 429 results for ten million dollars comic strips. Discover the best "Ten Million Dollars" comics from Dilbert.com.

Golden Age For Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Golden Age For Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 6 feet, avoid, coffee, eye contact, face mask, grocery shopping, office workers, social distancing, upgrade, Women

View Transcript

Transcript

wally at coffee pot talking to Dilbert:: social distancing has been a great upgrade to my life. in the old days, women avoided me by at least ten feet. now i often get within seven. i think it's because i'm better-looking with most of my face covered. especially if i wear a hat and sunglasses. and i learned that women will talk to me if i walk the wrong way down a grocery aisle. they're usually complaining but at least they make eye contact. it's sort of a golden age for people like me.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Lucky Profits

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lucky Profits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bonus, business, compensation, executive, managers & supervisors, pandemic, sarcasm, technology, video conferencing, zoom, luck

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert to ceo: there's a problem with your executive compensation. the company made so much money during the pandemic, purely by luck, that your bonus would be ten million dollars. ceo: i earned it. catbert: you made zoom calls wearing only socks.

Can You Zoom Now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Can You Zoom Now - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, text message, video conference, zoom, call, response, anger, lack of response

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert sending text: are you available for a zoom call? dilbert thinking: he's typing something. nope, he stopped. okay, he's typing again. no, he stopped again. block of text: i'm available at 2 p.m. tomorrow, Thursday at 9 a.m., or next week any time after three, and now. dilbert sending text: perfect. how about now? dilbert thinking: answer coming. no, he stopped typing. ten minutes later: dilbert angry and yelling: answer me, you jerk!!! thirty minutes later: text answer: does now work? dilbert yelling: too late!!!

Banana Is Not An Apple

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Banana Is Not An Apple - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, apple, argue, banana, business, doctored image, google, managers & supervisors, search, wrong

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert holding out banana: i'm not hungry today. do you want my banana? boss: that's an apple. dilbert: um..no this is a banana. boss: clearly it is not. dilbert: i can't believe you are making me do a google search to prove i know what a banana is. see? those are bananas. this looks just like the photos. this is a banana. those images are doctored. dilbert yelling: there are a million banana images! they are not all doctored! boss: you know how i know you are wrong? because you never admit you are wrong. gotcha! dilbert yelling: that is not a thing!!! boss: that's exactly what all the people who are wrong say.

Audit Blackmail

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Audit Blackmail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, business, audit, software, blackmail, free, network, money, dollars

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: my audit of your company has uncovered a number of software vulnerabilities. for example, a blackmailer could take control of your network and make you pay a billion dollars to get it back. ceo: good work. what do we owe you? dogbert: the audit is free. i only did it to find ways to blackmail you.

Ceo Speaks Out

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Speaks Out - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, political issues, stock, stock market, plunged, voice, injustice, bonus, million, dollars, Advice

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert: our stock plunged 30% because you spoke out on a political issue. ceo: no one can silence my voice when i see a great injustice. catbert: this will cost you your entire bonus of $10 million. ceo: what if i agree to never speak again?

Million Dollar Bonuses

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Million Dollar Bonuses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, deadline, project, million-dollar, recommendation, lying, clock, weeks, spirit, bonus, mad, finished, no, laptop, coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: if you finish by the deadline, i'll recommend you for a million dollar bonus. dilbert: you're lying. boss: i'm serious. dilbert: but you're also lying. boss: only one way to find out. dilbert: i'd need to work around the clock for weeks to meet the deadline. boss: that's the spirit! dilbert: if you're lying about the bonus, i'm going to be boiling mad. five weeks later. dilbert: it nearly killed me, but i finished by the deadline. where's my million dollar bonus. boss: i told you i'd recommend it. they said no.

New Loyal Customers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Loyal Customers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, meeting, ceo, woke, advertising, dollars, loss, quarter, offend, straight face, botox, annoying

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: our strategy of being annoyingly woke in our ads caused us to have an eight billion dollar loss this quarter. but it was worth it because sometimes you have to offend some of your customers to make the others loyal. dilbert: how did you say that with a straight face? ceo: no one told you about botox?

Layoffs Of Ten Percent

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Layoffs Of Ten Percent - Dilbert by Scott Adams