Time Comic Strips - Page 43

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Time

View 421 - 430 results for time comic strips. Discover the best "Time" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags temp, sign time sheet, permanent position, dog, has fake owner, dilbert clone, doll, stand in, fake person, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks through the door of his house and says, "Dogbert! I'm ho-o-ome!" Dogbert appears in the doorway and says, "I'll be right there. I have to sign the temp's time sheet." Dilbert walks into the living room and finds a man sitting on a couch in a mask of his face, and Dogbert standing next to him saying, "If you're ever interested in a full-time position, give me a call."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags start on monday, service industry, space -time, contiuum, calendar, no mondays

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands at a table reviewing a sheet of paper with a contractor. The contractor says, "Here's my estimate. I'll start the job on Monday." The contractor continues, "When I say 'Monday,' I'm referring to the service industry's space-time continuum." The contractor holds out a calendar and says, "I'm not supposed to show you this, but check out the calendar." Dilbert looks and says, "No Mondays."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags electrician, fix furnace, invention, plumber, roofer, space time continuum, carpenter, fix furnace 1991

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a stool watching as Dilbert fixes what looks like a time machine. Dilbert says, "My invention will let me search the service industry's space-time continuum." Dilbert is seen in the machine travelling through a galaxy with several floating workmen. Dilbert says, "Plumber, roofer, carpenter, electrician." Dilbert stops and looks at one worker and says, "Weren't you supposed to fix my furnace in 1991?" The worker replies, "You're my next house."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags unibrow, growing one, ban, work related converstaion, lunch time, break room

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally sit with Asok the Intern at the break room table eating lunch. Asok says, "I'm thinking about growing a unibrow." Dilbert, Wally and Asok sit quietly for a moment. Dilbert says, "Maybe we should rethink our ban on work-related conversation during lunch." Asok says, "Please."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags layoffs, fly on wall, poof, wally as fly, rational budget decions, who do we hate, fly eating donut, mean, board of directors

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally stand in the hallway looking into the conference room where the Boss is having a meeting. Dilbert says, "They must be talking about the layoffs." Wally says, "I'd like to be a fly on that wall." Suddenly, "Poof!" and Wally is turned into a fly. Wally is seen in fly form, with his head on a fly's body. He says, "Great...the one time I get my wish..." Wally flies into the room as the Boss says, "Let's focus on our priorities and make rational budget decisions." The whole room erupts in laughter: "Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!" The Boss continues speaking as Wally flies in close to his coffee and donut. The Boss says, "Back to reality. I'll fire Ted; he creeps me out. Who else do we hate?" Wally lands on the donut as the Boss says, "Hey, my donut is gettting eaten by the world's ugliest fly!" Wally says, "Bonanza!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ratbert, can't sleep, tell story, pointy haired monster, cry, dilbert bedtime story, tells life story, rat crys

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting on his couch in his bathrobe. His pet rat approaches on the arm rest and says, "I can't sleep. Would you tell me a story." The rat is cuddled under a blanket on the couch. Dilbert begins his story: "Once upon a time there was a pointy-haired monster." He continues, "He promised riches to the villagers if they could achieve his random objectives." The rat begins to get drowsy. Dilbert continues his story: "The villagers worked long hours but they were happy and optimistic." Dilbert continues, "Suddenly the evil monster cut their funding and hired the village idiot to be project manager." Dilbert continues, "And that is how the villagers got trapped in meetings for all eternity. The end." The rat opens its eyes wide in horror. The rat cries, "Waaa!! Waaa!! Waaa!!" Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Rats cry when they hear about my life." Dogbert responds, "It never pays to listen."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags negotiated contract, six weeks, double delivery time, devious weasel, simply incompetent

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is reading a contract while meeting with a business associate. Dilbert says, "We've negotiated this contract for six weeks and today you double your delivery time?" Dilbert continues, "I can't tell if you're an incredibly devious weasel or simply incompetent." The business associate begins to pull on his own nose and says, "Here's a clue." The business associate pulls of his nose to reveal a weasel's nose underneath. It makes the sound, "poink."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags music in offcie, can't concentrate, turn it down, drive you nuts, complain, cubicles, separation, desks

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert leans over the cubicle wall and says, "Could you turn off the music? I can't concentrate" to the coworker next to him. The coworker replies, "How about if I turn it down to a level where it still drives you nuts but you're too shy to complain a second time?" Dilbert says, "Thank you." The coworker says, "It might creep up over time."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags slow walking women, squeeze, oblivious, time stands still

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is walking behind a pair of women. He thinks to himself, "Uh-oh.. Slow- walking women." Dilbert looks around them. He thinks, "I can't squeeze around." Dilbert stomps up and down. He thinks, "I'll make footstep noise so they'll notice and move." From behind the women, he says to himself, "It didn't work. They're oblivious slow-walking women!" Dilbert continues thinking, "Time stands still as I wait to take my next step." Alice walks up to Dilbert and says, "Oh no.. It's a pair of oblivious slow-walking women." Alice continues, "I'll throw you over the top. Then you can open the side door so I can go around." Dilbert's feet fly over the women's heads. One says, "Third one today." The other says, "Weird."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cubicle time, isn't productive, set priorities, projects flounder, big raise, either way, cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, may I have a word with you?" The Boss continues, "You're not spending enough time in your cubicle." The Boss continues, "It looks as if our department isn't productive." Alice responds, "But.. I can't do my job from my cubicle." The Boss replies, "You have to set priorities. Looking productive is very important to this department." Alice clenches her fists in anger. Alice exclaims, "Will I get a big raise for looking busy while my projects flounder?!" The Boss replies, "You won't get a big raise either way." The Boss continues, "Here's a blank piece of paper to carry back to your cubicle." Alice clenches her fists again and cries, "GAAA!!"