Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 43
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1000 Results for Avoid Work
View 421 - 430 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday November 14,
2015
It's Easier If We Don't Try To Link Performance And Outcomes
Tags performance, reward, consequences, consequence, result, outcome, logic, reasoning, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Boss: So don't let that happen again. Dilbert: It wasn't my fault and you know it. Boss: It's easier if we don't try to link performance and outcomes. Dilbert: I'll try. It was hard at first, but now I'm totally stress-free. Wally: I just got a 30% raise.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday November 11,
2015
Two Choices For A Project
Tags question, trick, choice, illusion, work, assignment, power
Transcript
Boss: Do you want the boring and awful project that is likely to succeed... or the fun project that is certain to fail and take your career with it? Dilbert: You came here to give both of them to me. Boss: Ha ha! You know me.
Tuesday November 10,
2015
Not Saving Enough For Retirement
Tags money, saving, retirement, bleak, despair, pessimist, old people, elderly
Transcript
Wally: Most people are not saving enough for retirement. So I see no reason to work hard and save money just so my retirement condo can be overrun by starving seniors. Too bleak? Alice: A little!
Sunday November 08,
2015
Tags social, party, invite, relationships, friend, friendship, test, popularity
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm having some people over to my house after work. Would you like to come? Woman: Who else is coming? Dilbert: Seven people said maybe, and one said he would get back to me. I think that shows a lot of interest. So how about it? Can you come? Woman: It depends on whether my sister needs a ride to the airport. Dilbert: When will you know? Woman: I'll text you. Dogbert: Are you sad that no one came? Dilbert: No, I was just A-B testing to see if I still hate all of them.
Saturday November 07,
2015
Death By Emoji
Tags emoji, communication, miscommunication, murder, crime, deception, engineers, work ethic
Transcript
Boss: I tried to use emoji characters and accidentally ordered two of my engineers to kill Ted. They say they did it. CEO: Did the engineers complain about being too busy to do it? Boss: No. Oh, I see it now. CEO: Total hoax.
Thursday November 05,
2015
Carol Overschedules
Tags useless, laziness, work ethic, ignorance, trying, effort, club
Transcript
Carol: I understand you better than the others because I'm useless, too. Wally: I always thought you were trying to kill our pointy-haired boss by overscheduling him. Carol: I am. It just hasn't worked yet. Wally: That's not good enough to get into the useless club.
Wednesday November 04,
2015
How It Feels To Never Accomplish
Tags work ethic, laziness, perspective, happiness, satisfaction, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: What's it like to never feel the satisfaction of a job well done? Wally: It's even better than you'd think! Dilbert: We might not be on the same page here. Wally: I hope your page feels as good as mine.
Tuesday November 03,
2015
How It Feels To Be Useless
Tags work, work ethic, engineers, stress, reward, laziness, dedication
Transcript
Wally: How's it feel to be the hardest-working employee in engineering? Alice: I feel tired, sore, exhausted, sick, angry, stressed out, and lonely. Wally: You probably don't want to know how good it feels to be useless.
Saturday October 31,
2015
The Cause Of Human Motivation
Tags motivation, cause and effect, trick, deception, logic, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Wally: Do you believe human motivation is the product of a person's genes or the environment? Boss: Both. Duh. Anyway, I asked you here to discuss your terrible job performance. Wally: We just did. You said it isn't my fault.
Friday October 30,
2015
Wally Sees The Problem
Tags laziness, work ethic, excuse, problem, expectations
Transcript
Coworker: You said you would have that done for me by today! Wally: Okay, I think I know what the problem is here. Coworker: You? Wally: That, plus your expectations.

