I Feel Comic Strips - Page 43
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Dogbert thinks, "I'm in a bad mood. I'll have to annoy Dilbert and see if it makes me feel better." Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert stands behind him and says, "I just noticed that your ears don't match from the back." Dilbert gasps and grabs his ears. Dogbert walks away thinking, "Ahh . . ."
Dilbert floats through the house thinking, "Dogbert wasn't even impressed by my anti-gravity formula." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh, I feel a sneeze coming . . ." Dilbert's sneeze propels him through the ceiling. Dogbert stands on a ladder under Dilbert's feet and says, "I guess we won't be going out for burritos anytime soon."
Dilbert and Wally stand in front of the coffee machine. Wally says, "I was a sheep rancher before I worked here." Dilbert asks, "How many sheep did you have?" Wally says, "I'm not sure . . ." Wally continues, "Every time I tried to count them, I feel asleep."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the floor in front of the fireplace. Dilbert asks, "What do you want for Christmas, Dogbert?" Dogbert answers, "The usual: domination of earth, happiness at the expense of others, personal ego gratification." Dogbert asks, "And you?" Dilbert replies, "I want to feel greater love and understanding for other people." Dogbert asks, "Even obnoxious and cynical people?" Dogbert continues, "And people who laugh at you for being an idealistic simpleton?" Dilbert thinks. Dilbert pats Dogbert's head and replies, "Yeah." Dogbert says, "Merry Christmas, Dilbert."
The caption says, "Dogbert meets Dilbert's ego." Dogbert asks, "You want a toupee?" Dilbert's ego replies, "I feel okay about myself except for being bald." Dogbert says, "I hate to tell you, but with or without hair you still look like broccoli." The ego replies, "At least I won't be bald broccoli."
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "It's hard to express how I feel when I'm with you." Dilbert says, "Try." The woman says, "Imagine a field of wheat on a sunny Spring day. Birds are singing." Dilbert says, "There . . . That wasn't too hard." The woman says, "Now imagine a tractor on your chest . . ."
Dilbert reads a letter that says, "Dear Dilbert, I hope you like this elbow warmer I knitted for you. Love, Aunt Helen." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "It's an elbow warmer; just a thoughtful little gift from me to you." Dogbert says, "I feel like the lowest creature in the gift chain."
Dilbert lies on the couch. He thinks, "Uh-oh . . . My foot is asleep." Dilbert thinks, "I'd better hop around . . . Oh no, my arm is asleep too." Dilbert thinks, "Ouch, ouch!! I'll have to hop and wave my arm." Dogbert watches Dilbert hopping and waving his arms. Dilbert speaks to Dogbert and his words are slurred. He thinks, "My tongue is asleep." Dilbert runs into the chair. Dilbert lies face down on the chair. He says, "Aaahhh . . . It's okay now, Dogbert. Everything is back to normal." Dilbert adds, "Except my nose is asleep and I feel a sneeze coming on."
A man stands outside Dilbert's house and says to Dogbert, "Goodbye . . . I think your 'New Age Mineral Water Spa' has been a complete rip-off!" Dogbert turns on a hose and says, "I'm sorry you feel that way . . . Here's a free gallon of miracle hose water." Dilbert says, "You're an evil little dog." Dogbert points the hose at Dilbert and asks, "Thirsty?"