Job Comic Strips - Page 43

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

936 Results for Job

View 421 - 430 results for job comic strips. Discover the best "Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags interview, hiring, policy, cruelty

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss says, "You're hired, but company policy requires me to post the job opening internally before it's official." Man says, "Are you saying your company policy requires you to lie to employees and give them false hope?" The boss says, "Exactly." Man says,. "That's cruel." The boss says, "In six months you'll wish you had some false hope too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags firing, downsizing, ridicule, nervous, rude, mean

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Ted, I want to thank you for your 14 years of loyal service in this fabric-covered box." The boss says, "On a related note. The company has decided to right-size." The boss says, "And keeping you would be the wrong size." the boss says, "Clear out your debris in an hour so I can use your cubicle to store my old binders." Ted says, "Who will do my job?" the boss says, "no one." ted says, "So...for all practical purposes I am being replaced by a pile of old binders?" The boss says, "If it makes you feel better, the binders are useless. Everything is online now." Ted says, "So...I'm better than old binders?" The boss says, "Maybe this would be a good time to change the subject."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bank, buyout, financial crisis, economy, ridicule

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Now that you've run your bank into the ground, I plan to buy it for a dollar." Dogbert says, "In phase two I'll use common business words to insult you for a job poorly done." Dogbert says, "What do you think of that, you big fiduciary bag?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags pay, economy, nervous, crazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "Asok, we need to cut your pay again. But maybe you could get a second job." Asok the intern says, "Second???" Asok the intern says, "I am already doing freelance I.T. support?and donating blood?and working as a male escort." Catbert says, "I don't need the details." Asok the intern says, "Running guns...Robbing graves...Starting a hedge fund..."`

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags outsourcing, economy, scam, budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "the Dogbert outsourcing company has a solution for every budget." Dogbert says, "At the deluxe level you get highly educated Indian who speak perfect English." The boss says, "Sounds pricey." The boss says, "Let me see?at my budget level we can get..." The boss says, "...One illiterate Elbonian with poor attendance and an anger management problem." the boss says, "Stupid economy." the boss says, "I'll take him." Dogbert says, "I should warn you that he handles several accounts... and he doesn't know he has a job." Elbonian says, "Why does everyone keep calling me and complaining?! I hate your guts!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags walking, guard, job, transfer, market, economy, stealing, business, Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "You can have your old job back, but your compensation will reflect the new market reality." Catbert says, "You'll get a small base salary plus anything you can sneak past the guard in the lobby." Dilbert thinks, "These aren't the droids you're looking for."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags yelling, transfer, job, reprimand, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "There's an opening in my old department is it okay if I apply?" Collections supervisor says, "Sure. I'd be happy to toss that dead cat In someone else's backyard." Dilbert says, "I was worried that I might be too valuable?" Collections supervisor says, "Why are you still here?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job, hatred, advise, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert works in collections Dilbert says, " how am I supposed to collect money from people who don't have any?" Woman says, "Tell them to rob someone you don't like." Dilbert says, "?and that's my supervisor's home address. But you'd better hurry before all the good stuff is gone."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job, excuses, argument, depressed, conversation, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert works in collections Customer says, "My wife left me, my truck caught on fire, and all of my organs are failing." Dilbert says, "I work in a collections department." Customer says, "You win." Dilbert says, "Winning isn't what it used to be." a voice yells, "Your five minute break is over!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags collections, job, customer service, nervous, busy, confused, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert works in collections Customer says, "My wife hates me and I live between and archery range and a nest of rabid badgers." Dilbert says, "Is that a reason for not paying your bills?" Customer says, "I'm just saying you called at as bad time."