Stop Watch Comic Strips - Page 43

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611 Results for Stop Watch

View 421 - 430 results for stop watch comic strips. Discover the best "Stop Watch" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cash balance, #pension plan, #make more competetive, #good for young emplyees, #not good for old, #change back

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Wally, Catbet, Dilbert, Alice and Asok are in a meeting. Catbert says: "We're changing to a cash balance pension plan." Catbert says: "It will make the company much more competitive." Asok is sitting between an elder co-worker and Alice, Asok says: "Yippee!!! A cash balance plan is good for young employees!" The older employee stands up and says angrily to Asok: "Oh, yeah? Well it's not so good for me!" The older employee says: "I demand that you change it back!" Asok screams: "No!" The older employee throws himself on top of Asok who raises his arms in defense. The older employee says: "I'll snap you like a dried twig, you little zygote!" Asok says: "Ouch! Stop clubbing me with your artificial hip!!" Wally, Catbert and Dilbert watch the fight with no reaction. Wally says to Catbert and Dilbert: "On the plus side, they do seem more competitive."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carol got mba, #hard wirk, #rewarded, #pompous baboon, #sensitive way, #secretarial stigma, #wet caroets, #coffee, #fetch me one

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The boss and Carol are standing in front of Alice, Wally and Dilbert. The boss says, while pointing to Carol: "Congratulations to my secretary Carol for getting her MBA" The boss says to Carol: "At this company we believe hard work should be rewarded." The boss says to Carol: "The next time you fetch my coffee, get some coffee for yourself too!" Carol says to the boss: "You should be promoting me, you pompous baboon!" The boss says to Carol: "How can I explain this in the most sensitive way?" The boss says: "The secretarial stigma will cover you like a mountain of wet carpets until the day you die." The boss says to Carol, who looks furious: "I'm glad we had this talk. I think it helped." Alice and Wally are walking behind the boss and Alice says:"The next time you ask for coffee. We'd like to watch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #name omitted, #reorganization, #paperwork, #org limbo, #sounds scarey

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The boss comes up to Alice and says, "Alice, your name was accidentally omitted from the reorganization paperwork." The boss says, "You're in a place known only as org-limbo." Alice says, "Stop making it sound scary!" The boss replies, "Where did Alice go?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #call center, #hire you, #challenge, #inhumane working conditions, #without break, #four hours

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The Boss: So, mister rather, why should I hire you to work in my call center? Ratbert: I thrive on the challenge of inhumane working conditions. Watch me go without a rest room break for four hours, The Boss: You're hired.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #give his presentation, #irrelevant comparisons, #low budget, #development time, #computers faster, #obvious insights

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Dilbert stands next to a blank projection screen. He says, "My boss asked me to give his presentation." Dilbert puts a transparency on the overhead projector, saying, "I'll start with his irrelevant comparisons." Dilbert points to the projection, saying, "Our budget is lower than last year...". His co-workers watch as Dilbert continues, "When we had completely different projects." Pointing to a projection of a graph, Dilbert continues, "Our average product development time is less...". The co-workers watch as Dilbert continues, "Than the average for companies who make different products." Dilbert puts another transparency on the projector, saying, "Let's move on to his list of blindingly obvious insights." Standing next to the projction, Dilbert says, "If it's okay with you, I won't read them aloud." The projection reads, "Computers are getting faster!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #warm wall, #remove sheetrock, #finding defects, #smell propane

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Dilbert puts his hands on a wall in Dilmom's living room. Dilbert says, "Your wall is warm, mom." Dilmom says, "Is that bad?" Dilbert says, "There's no way to be sure unless you remove the sheetrock and look." Dilmom says, "Please stop finding defects in my house." Dilbert says, "I smell proprane."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #queen bee, #marketing, #marketing buzz, #man with rope, #loyal, #business

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Dilbert wears a backpack and carries rope. Dilbert says, "I'm going to capture the queen bee of marketing." Dogbert's ears fly up and his fur stands on end. Dogbert says, "No matter what she says, do't be seduced by her marketing buzz." A huge bee lady sits on a throwm looking at a piece of paper. A man says, "A man with a rope is here to see you. I wan't loyal enough to stop him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #freak accident, #ask marketing, #new copy, #queen bee

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Wally and dilbert stand in front of the boss. Their shirts are torn and dirty, thier faces are burnt and cut. Dilbert says, "The huge product requirements document was destroyed in a freak accident." The boss says, "I'll ask marketing to send you a new copy." As Dilbert and Wally walk away, wally says, "I told you we can't stop them one-bee-at-a-time. We have to go for the queen."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogberts tech support, #shut up, #reboot, #shut up and hang up, #call time, #improving

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Caption: "Dogbert's tech Support" Dogbert answers the phone at his computer. The voice on the phone says, "Hello, I..." Dogbert says, "Shut up and reboot." The voice on the phone says, "Hey, it work..." Dogbert says, "Shut up and hang up.." Dogbert looks at his watch and thinks, "My average call time is improving."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #slipping again, #most severe, #disciplinary action, #watch eat, #monster

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Wally sits in the boss' office. The boss says, "Wally. your performance is slipping again." The boss says, "That calls for my most severe disciplinary action." The boss begins to eat a sandwich. Wally looks horribly shocked, his hair stand on end. Wally shakes. Asok says, "He made you watch him eat?" Dilber raises his fist and says, "Monster!"